Author Topic: Funny definitions  (Read 25192 times)

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jNehlich

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #45 on: Dec 04, 2010, 02:31 pm »
deja-cuing:  the ability to watch a production as an audience member, and at curtain rise, you immediately remember all the cues from the version you did, and as much as you resist it, can't help calling them in your head, and get irritated when the cues don't happen onstage.
-JN

FMurray

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #46 on: Dec 05, 2010, 04:58 pm »
Managing Syndrome: A syndrome afflicting many SMs, causing them to compulsively manage non-theatre friends, colleagues, family, or pets. The worst cases have been seen attempting to manage random people on the streets, other people's children, and wild animals. There is no known cure for Managing Syndrome.

This reminded me of:

Crazy Memory Syndrome: The ability of SMs to remember every little detail of events or conversations with their friends and have their friends think their crazy or creepy because of their memory.

Trak26

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #47 on: Dec 11, 2010, 08:27 am »
warm props - actors
voice activated warm props - when as SM you tell actors to move
“Perhaps, therefore, ideal stage managers not only need to be calm and meticulous professionals who know their craft, but masochists who feel pride in rising above impossible odds.”

On_Headset

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #48 on: Dec 14, 2010, 04:23 pm »
The Lick: The words that actually come out of your mouth when what you really want to say is "Sit down and shut up before I stick this sharpie somewhere tender and painful", "What on EARTH do you think you're doing?!", "Get your hands off my butt before I remove them at the shoulder", or something in that vein.

As in, "I gave him the lick, and it seemed to make the point".


Interesting Choices: What directors call it when someone else has a truly horrific idea.

Bad Ideas: What directors call it when someone has a good idea, but the director didn't think of it first.

Good Ideas: What directors call it when someone makes an interesting choice, but the director doesn't feel like dealing with it themselves, so they make it stage management's problem.
« Last Edit: Dec 14, 2010, 04:27 pm by On_Headset »

late_stranger

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #49 on: Dec 15, 2010, 10:40 pm »
Smart Sofa: The sofa's worth of actors who intelligently scheduled nothing that conflicts with rehearsals (Antonyms: Dumb Sofa, Stupid Sofa (depending on how alliterative you're feeling))

Don't be so reverent about reality. It's just a trick, done with mirrors.

late_stranger

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #50 on: Dec 22, 2010, 12:22 am »
Thank You Blank Syndrome:
           n. 1)The tendency of stage managers to both give and expect Thank You Blank style acknowledgments to any sort of news given.
               2)The tendency of stage managers to thank everyone around them for everything. (Addendum: If you don't get thanked by a stage manager for doing something, you've managed to really, really screw something up)

Maybe that second one is just me, but I find that with high school actors, saying thank you for everything, rather than diminishing the sentiment, actually increases general goodwill and soothes egos that could otherwise become problematic.
Don't be so reverent about reality. It's just a trick, done with mirrors.

dancer-sm

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #51 on: Dec 29, 2010, 05:38 pm »
After working on a musical for over 10 weeks some of the actors still looked very uncomfortable and out of place while dancing.
Thus led to the use of  spazghetti.

Spazghetti--People who look like a spaz with extreme noodle arms while dancing.

On_Headset

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #52 on: Feb 06, 2011, 04:05 pm »
Blindering

The ability go about your day as if wearing horse blinders. A necessary skill for SMs to develop. Examples:
- Opening the broom closet to find Mercutio sucking face with an ensemble member, and--without missing a beat--reminding them that they're going to be late for the company exercises, taking a broom, and closing the door behind you.
- Crossing a dressing room full of mostly-naked people of your chosen gender, stopping only to grab Marat's puffer, remind a [naked] actor to hit his mark ("It's a tricky lighting cue, and if you're off by even just a foot or so, the audience can't see you..."), and walk right back out again without even noticing the nudity.


Shuttupping (shut-tupping)

What SMs do when forced to have a conversation for which they don't have time, but the other person's standing/stature/emotional state prevents them from abruptly ending it. Lots of one-word answers, lots of sentenceswhereallthewordsruntogether, lots of emphatic nodding...

Producer: "...so, anyway, how are you doing?"
SM: "Fine."
Producer: "That's great. Say, did you get the e-mail I sent you about the request from FoH to add another late call after intermission?"
SM: "Yes."
Producer: "Fantastic! I hope I'm not keeping you from anything important, but between you and me, do you think you'll be able to help them out? Stacey from facilities had a real jerk of a patron last night who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so we had to scramble up the security guard, and we'd really like to avoid that situation in the future. It's not the first time, either, and I wouldn't be talking to you about this if it wasn't important, because I know you're a busy person, and we really do value the work you do for us here. Do you think you can help us out?"
SM: "Probably."
Producer: "That's great. That's really great. You know, you're really a valued member of our team..."


Shouldering

When a blessed soul rescues someone else from a conversation they don't have time to have.

Producer: "...and I really wanted to make sure you understand just how much we value your input into our operations. We're even thinking of bringing you in on staff meetings! You've contributed so much to our organization..."
Production Manager: "Oh! Hello, [Producer]! Hi, [SM]! Say, [Producer], if you're not too busy can I speak with you in my office? Is now good? [*wink at SM*]"

On_Headset

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #53 on: Jun 09, 2012, 05:37 am »
A new one: Bloody Mary.

Every now and then, you gain a company member who attracts drama like a cake attracts wasps. All you have to do is say their name, and poof! Out comes the gossip! There could be any number of underlying reasons for this state of affairs--maybe they've slept with everyone, maybe they're a mean person, maybe they're awkward and outlandish, whatever--but as soon as their name is so much as mentioned, all conversation immediately stops and people instead start swapping anecdotes and rants about this person.

Grade school students have a story they tell themselves about a creature called Bloody Mary. The schtick: if you say her name three times, she appears, and she then tries to kill you.

This person is similar, except you only have to say their name once, and instead of killing you, they merely derail meetings, interrupt conversations, and induce inappropriately frank confessions about other people's sex lives.

Maggie K

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #54 on: Jun 09, 2012, 10:03 am »
Walk N Talk: When you have a meeting or discussion with someone while going somewhere/doing something because you don't have time to stop

Memory reboot: When you return to the theatre after actually having several days off and have to remind yourself what show you are doing

Air cueing: When you mime your cues during fight call or dance call (particularly fun if you are running both the light board and sound board)

Caput angleitits: a medical condition of the head tilting permanently to the side where the headset earmuff is most often worn.  Can only be corrected by buying one's own lightweight headset

Wrong ear: When an actor attempts to speak to you through the ear covered by the headset

I like the ephemeral thing about theatre, every performance is like a ghost - it's there and then it's gone. -Maggie Smith

DCPSM2012

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #55 on: Jun 09, 2012, 01:00 pm »
The Keys:

In the Key of Panic- A state experianced by many High-School Stage Managers induced by walking the half-mile to your car after a night rehearsal, watching the director lock the gates behind you, and THEN realizing that the master keys are still attatched to your belt. See Also: "Get back here, you forgot your car keys"

Immediate Identification- When you can tell a certain ASM or director by how the keys sound on their belts when they walk.

Ring Withdrawl- That empty feeling you get when returning the keys for the summer.

Unfortunate Detatchment- The side-most belt loop- usually on the most proficient side of the body- that has come unattatched from a pair of jeans due to frequent "key weight"


"Type 'A' Personality"- A badge worn with pride in some Stage Management circles.
"You can grow old, but please, please, never grow up. Not all the way."

dallas10086

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #56 on: Jun 09, 2012, 02:07 pm »
Non-method fire extinguisher: Those productions where it seems everything but the fire extinguisher is a method actor, and you will spend a great majority of your time correcting actors blocking, cleaning up broken props because their character 'would have done that in that moment,' and sitting through endless discussions about the motivation of simple business like how their character would turn a door knob.

Example -  'Last night my actor playing Stanley in A Streetcar Named Desire said he felt he needed to throw the cup SR instead of SL, so we had to clean up the broken shards in the dark during the scene change. But at least I still have a non-method fire extinguisher.'

BeccaTheSM

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #57 on: Jun 09, 2012, 09:17 pm »
Walk N Talk: When you have a meeting or discussion with someone while going somewhere/doing something because you don't have time to stop

This is also known as the Aaron Sorkin.
Art, in itself, is an attempt to bring order out of chaos. - Stephen Sondheim