Author Topic: Funny definitions  (Read 25239 times)

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PSMKay

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #15 on: Aug 19, 2010, 03:22 pm »
I would not object for my contributions.

That being said, if we're doing this, I always wanted to have my own "law."

Kay's Law: The prop that you think is a one-off, disposable item will suddenly become absolutely crucial to every scene at final dress.
Corollary #1: The crucial prop that is built with backbreaking labor, huge budget resources and elaborate design techniques will be cut from the show at final dress.

planetmike

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #16 on: Aug 19, 2010, 04:05 pm »
You can use my contributions, but I'm not working for free! :)

Immunonudity - the ability of a stage manager to walk around backstage and not be interested in ogling the bodies in various stages of undress.

Corollary: Clipboarding - the ability of a stage manager to walk around backstage while holding a clipboard in front of their eyes so they can't see the bodies in various stages of undress; generally at the will of parents who think you're a pervert for being backstage at all while their little darlings are changing their clothes.

bex

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #17 on: Aug 19, 2010, 07:25 pm »
Stage manicure: The state of one's fingernails immediately following the taping of a groundplan. 
You will have to sing for your supper & your mortgage, your dental coverage & your children's shoes, over & over again while people in desk jobs roll their eyes the minute you start to complain. So it's a good thing you like to sing.

crazychicksj

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #18 on: Aug 20, 2010, 08:40 pm »
Phantom Ghost Syndrome: An intense urge to turn on a non-existent ghost light any time you're the last person leaving a room at night.




ReyYaySM

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #19 on: Aug 21, 2010, 01:03 am »
Stage Manager's Nightmare: a dream in which you are stage managing a show and are running extremely late or miss the show entirely.  Other variations may include sitting down in the booth to a blank prompt book, having a prompt book but discovering it's for another show, or trying to call the show when the actors are performing it in a different language. 

 

dewitt

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #20 on: Aug 21, 2010, 01:19 am »
Safety Alarm: The invisible flashing red light above the SM's head which is automatically activated by witnessing anyone at anyplace doing any act that could be considered stupid, dangerous or life threatening

dallas10086

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #21 on: Aug 21, 2010, 10:46 pm »
The Switch: when in the on position, the switch is the inability to watch any performance or production without watching through a stage manager's eyes, i.e. "they took that cue late," "she's not in her light" and "I know how they did that effect."

In the off position...well, no one really knows what happens in the off position because the switch is usually taped, glued or otherwise permanently fixed in the on position.

missliz

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #22 on: Aug 22, 2010, 10:41 am »
Blind Walk- The memorization of set piece location that enables the SM to walk across the stage in pitch black and not run into anything.
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

late_stranger

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #23 on: Aug 22, 2010, 02:34 pm »
Tempest_gypsy, you are welcome to any and all of my once and future contributions.

Shakespearean Recalibration: A side effect of long term stage managing of Shakespeare works, causing the stage manager (and sometimes others involved in the productions) to think, speak, and/or dream in Early Modern English and/or iambic pentameter, with or without realizing it.

Standby Syndrome: A condition causing stage managers to expect and give standbys in the so-called "real-world", especially before parties or trips.

Emo/ Goth/ Depressed: Things that many stage managers are frequently required to assert that they are not. Inquiries invariably come from non-thespians, whose concern is aroused by the stage manager's 95% black wardrobe.
Don't be so reverent about reality. It's just a trick, done with mirrors.

Tempest

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #24 on: Aug 23, 2010, 01:26 pm »
Inspired by late_stranger's "Standby Syndrome" and my (notoriously running late) husband.

Homelife Backlash - The absolute, and occasionally angry, refusal to perform any SM-like duties while not at work, such as reminding everyone that they need to be out the door in 30/15/5 minutes, making to-do lists, finding misplaced props keys/wallets/etc., or in general, organizing anyone's life but their own.
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"

Thespi620

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #25 on: Aug 24, 2010, 01:08 am »
Inspired by late_stranger's "Standby Syndrome" and my (notoriously running late) husband.

Homelife Backlash - The absolute, and occasionally angry, refusal to perform any SM-like duties while not at work, such as reminding everyone that they need to be out the door in 30/15/5 minutes, making to-do lists, finding misplaced props keys/wallets/etc., or in general, organizing anyone's life but their own.

As a subset of Homelife Backlash--

Tardiness Tantrum-Emotional response of the SM in aforementioned homelife when others are not, automatically, as adept at being on time/prepared/generally competent in life skills as the SM is. Can include (but certainly is not limited to) foot tapping, eye rolling, disagreeable mumbling, other family members getting left behind, etc.

This is fun! ;D
[The SM is] a very gifted, slightly eccentric master mechanic [keeping] a cantankerous, highly complex machine running at top efficiency by talking to it, soothing it, & lovingly fixing whatever is broken. 
-J. Michael Gillette

Tempest

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #26 on: Aug 24, 2010, 01:52 pm »
First Rehearsal - The equivalent of opening Night for a stage manager.  Except they're in every scene, have only had the script for a week, haven't met most of their cast-mates, and everyone watching them expects the SM to be absolutely perfect, every moment, from then until closing night.

(Can you tell I've got first rehearsal jitters, today?)
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"

MarcieA

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #27 on: Aug 24, 2010, 01:54 pm »
First Rehearsal - The equivalent of opening Night for a stage manager.  Except they're in every scene, have only had the script for a week, haven't met most of their cast-mates, and everyone watching them expects the SM to be absolutely perfect, every moment, from then until closing night.

(Can you tell I've got first rehearsal jitters, today?)

I love it! "First rehearsal is my opening!"
Companions whom I loved and still love, tell them my song.

loebtmc

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #28 on: Aug 24, 2010, 03:05 pm »
For that matter: Tech, the day when everyone who has been rehearsing, making mistakes, trying things and otherwise learning the show expects the SM to be perfect on our first rehearsal/first try calling a show from a totally different angle, listening over a monitor system and interacting with board ops plus the added components of lights, sound, fly, SFX and QC.

Or, SM assumes all blame for late cues that ran behind cuz the LD/ SD/ etc were fixing and didn't complete by the standby/Go
« Last Edit: Aug 25, 2010, 12:09 pm by loebtmc »

PSMKay

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Re: Funny definitions
« Reply #29 on: Aug 24, 2010, 03:32 pm »
For the Dr. Who fans:

Reverse Tardis effect: The amazing ability of technicians to cram infinite numbers of props, furniture, set dressing, costumes, actors, orchestra members, etc. into infinitesimal amounts of wingspace.  (or, "It looks bigger on the outside than it is on the inside.")