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Stage Management: Plays & Musicals / PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« on: Oct 26, 2011, 11:23 am »
So, I know as SM's we are supposed to be able to deal with the hard stuff in a cool and collected manner, and it is important to be fair but still stern. We are more or less referees in the way we deal with problems and keep everything moving. We are not supposed to be irrational or blow up. But...
Does anger ever get the better of you?
I am doing two shows at present. I am closing one where I am an actress and rehearsing one as SM. My ASM is filling in for me on the days I am performing (and is doing a fantastic job). All is well. The problem is that I have worked with many of the cast before, and that we are all pretty good friends. We are also very sarcastic in nature. When in a show, I keep my sarcastic and joking comments to myself because it is not professional to belittle your actors. They however do not, which I feel is disrespectful to me. I know there are threads about working with friends, but it isn't just that.
At the beginning of every show I hand out a list of 10 rules... most of which are common sense (wear appropriate shoes... don't talk in the space... Turn off your cell phones...). One of the rules is "Do not touch any prop that is not yours." At this theatre, we do not have a rehearsal space and if there is not a constructed set we often use the stage on the current shows off nights. One of my props in the current show is a vintage card table. It's my prop I can touch it. In the show I am rehearsing, we needed a table for down stage, since nothing crazy was happening, I decided this card table would be fine, stating that it was a prop, that I alone would touch it and guarding it with my life. We had been doing this for 2 weeks.
Last night, an actor decided he would hide the table from me while we were on a break. Which annoyed me, but more than that I felt like the rules were being broken (to date this is my 4th rule that has been blatantly ignored by someone multiple times). After we ran the scene and I recovered the table, I announced in a calm stern voice that because we cant respect the props of others, from this point forward and until we moved into the space, we would not be working with a table. To which, said actor mumbled loudly "Fine, We don't need a (profanity) table" and every ounce of cool I had was gone. The next time we ran the scene I took out paper and a pen to substitute for that actors prop application which he uses at the table and less calmly announced that since we didn't need a table, we were going to start using table specific props. He continued to ignore me. I stood Picked up the paper and put it back into play. The Director made him use the Prop the next time we ran it.
By the time this interaction was finished, I think the tension in the room was beyond cutting with a knife. After I had calmed down I felt bad for getting angry when I should have been calm and stern. Just because I wasn't yelling, that doesn't mean my attitude was any less inappropriate. I have had this problem with this actor before and we have already had the "I'm your SM, not your friend" conversation in past shows.
He and I discussed it privately after rehearsal. We both explained why we were so irritable, discussed how we could have handled it differently and apologized. Another actor apologized to me for being in the room when the table had been taken. I also apologized to the director for losing my cool.
I feel really bad. I have always said I am good at what I do. I believe you never stop learning, but I think I am a good SM. This situation has made me question that. I don't know what to do now. Should I apologize to the rest of the cast? Have a global "I am your SM, not your friend" talk? Explain the rules, since we are incapable of following them? I don't see them again until Monday, will it even be worth it then? How do I get them to listen to me? Is this what parents of teenagers feel like? I need help...
Does anger ever get the better of you?
I am doing two shows at present. I am closing one where I am an actress and rehearsing one as SM. My ASM is filling in for me on the days I am performing (and is doing a fantastic job). All is well. The problem is that I have worked with many of the cast before, and that we are all pretty good friends. We are also very sarcastic in nature. When in a show, I keep my sarcastic and joking comments to myself because it is not professional to belittle your actors. They however do not, which I feel is disrespectful to me. I know there are threads about working with friends, but it isn't just that.
At the beginning of every show I hand out a list of 10 rules... most of which are common sense (wear appropriate shoes... don't talk in the space... Turn off your cell phones...). One of the rules is "Do not touch any prop that is not yours." At this theatre, we do not have a rehearsal space and if there is not a constructed set we often use the stage on the current shows off nights. One of my props in the current show is a vintage card table. It's my prop I can touch it. In the show I am rehearsing, we needed a table for down stage, since nothing crazy was happening, I decided this card table would be fine, stating that it was a prop, that I alone would touch it and guarding it with my life. We had been doing this for 2 weeks.
Last night, an actor decided he would hide the table from me while we were on a break. Which annoyed me, but more than that I felt like the rules were being broken (to date this is my 4th rule that has been blatantly ignored by someone multiple times). After we ran the scene and I recovered the table, I announced in a calm stern voice that because we cant respect the props of others, from this point forward and until we moved into the space, we would not be working with a table. To which, said actor mumbled loudly "Fine, We don't need a (profanity) table" and every ounce of cool I had was gone. The next time we ran the scene I took out paper and a pen to substitute for that actors prop application which he uses at the table and less calmly announced that since we didn't need a table, we were going to start using table specific props. He continued to ignore me. I stood Picked up the paper and put it back into play. The Director made him use the Prop the next time we ran it.
By the time this interaction was finished, I think the tension in the room was beyond cutting with a knife. After I had calmed down I felt bad for getting angry when I should have been calm and stern. Just because I wasn't yelling, that doesn't mean my attitude was any less inappropriate. I have had this problem with this actor before and we have already had the "I'm your SM, not your friend" conversation in past shows.
He and I discussed it privately after rehearsal. We both explained why we were so irritable, discussed how we could have handled it differently and apologized. Another actor apologized to me for being in the room when the table had been taken. I also apologized to the director for losing my cool.
I feel really bad. I have always said I am good at what I do. I believe you never stop learning, but I think I am a good SM. This situation has made me question that. I don't know what to do now. Should I apologize to the rest of the cast? Have a global "I am your SM, not your friend" talk? Explain the rules, since we are incapable of following them? I don't see them again until Monday, will it even be worth it then? How do I get them to listen to me? Is this what parents of teenagers feel like? I need help...