Author Topic: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only  (Read 38699 times)

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bex

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #45 on: Oct 02, 2010, 02:47 am »
You're on vocal rest?
Why the heck are you belting
This karaoke?
You will have to sing for your supper & your mortgage, your dental coverage & your children's shoes, over & over again while people in desk jobs roll their eyes the minute you start to complain. So it's a good thing you like to sing.

lauria

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #46 on: Oct 03, 2010, 12:42 am »
Why the gigglefest?
Who slipped the cast laughing gas?
We weep in the dark.

On_Headset

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #47 on: Oct 03, 2010, 02:34 am »
Attention Ushers:
Please keep children off my set!
(Except actors, natch.)

missliz

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #48 on: Oct 03, 2010, 09:48 am »
Unless you'd like me
to be a one-woman show,
actors- LEARN YOUR LINES.
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

Tempest

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #49 on: Jan 28, 2011, 08:31 pm »
You.  Approved.  Schedule.
Should I assume you don't grok
When you say, "Yes, good"?

(I just finished reading Stranger in a Strange Land and am rather thrilled to use "grok" in a poem!)
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"

catalinacisne

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #50 on: Jan 29, 2011, 09:14 am »
To break the trumpet
You must pull from both ends, please.
Not whack against leg.

(actor having trouble following directions for the rigged-to-snap-in-half trumpet in Xanadu)

planetmike

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #51 on: Jan 29, 2011, 03:26 pm »
Backstage: Shut your mouth!
The audience can hear you
and not those on stage.

Kait-e

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #52 on: Feb 11, 2011, 12:36 am »
Cannot find intent
So the actor wants a prop:
Bun and a napkin.

But you have to sing
And your voice already cracks
Crumbs would make you worse.

You are a captain
In the tropics - someone asks
"How 'bout a mango?"

Now you act better
With the fruit than your scene mate
Do you suck that much?

And the mango rinds
In your pants pockets. Really?
You'll stain the costume!

The props designer
Is going mad over this
Director - CUT IT!

missliz

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #53 on: Feb 11, 2011, 10:44 am »
I'm good at my job,
but I've not mastered cloning.
Please come to rehearsal!
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

Tempest

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #54 on: Feb 13, 2011, 01:29 pm »
How many shows have
I done here?  Why don't you trust
in my competence?

Producer is the
directors wife.  Guess who gets
caught in family fued.

Got midnight e-mail
telling me how to do my
job.  Paranoid much?
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"

Kait-e

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #55 on: Feb 19, 2011, 06:37 pm »
Dearest cast and crew
How is it I must tell you
Ev'ry single day

Show call: one hour
Space open: one hour more.
As it's always been.

Costume designer:
Texting me to ask me this
You know they cost me!

You have done shows here
For the last three #&$*ing years
You know the answer!

BeckyGG

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #56 on: Feb 20, 2011, 11:59 pm »
I send the schedule
Every single night for you
And yet you are late


CHAOS: Where Brilliant Dreams Are Born
Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be Chaos
Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish to the crowd.

PSMKay

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #57 on: Feb 21, 2011, 12:57 am »
"A metric size 4
dinglehopper in my kit"
-- signature haiku

Dee

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #58 on: Sep 04, 2011, 12:49 pm »
Thankless job indeed
I even wash your underwear
I thank YOU nightly

Tempest

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #59 on: Sep 04, 2011, 05:35 pm »
Each night: cough drop just
before getting tied up.  Spit
it in my hand!?  Ew.
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"