Author Topic: Things Stage Managers Say  (Read 19024 times)

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missliz

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Things Stage Managers Say
« on: Jan 05, 2012, 09:57 am »
By now you've probably seen Sh*t Girls Say, Sh*t Guys Say, Things Vegans Say, Things Musical Theater Girls Say, etc et al. (I'm surprised there's not a Sh*t Actors Say, actually.)

Since I'm not talented enough for a video- Things Stage Managers Say?


"Are you getting coffee? Will you get me some?"


"Places! No, really, seriously, places."
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

lsears

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #1 on: Jan 05, 2012, 11:59 am »
Yes, I will remind so-and-so to wear underwear to their fitting tomorrow morning.

dackj

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #2 on: Jan 05, 2012, 08:54 pm »
"How broken is it? Like... 'hold please' broken?"

-Lion King LV ASM

dallas10086

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #3 on: Jan 05, 2012, 11:47 pm »
It's on my list!

Oh. You went to Starbucks during your break. Hmm. I had to work through the break. Oh, and before you ask, no I didn't want any so thanks for not thinking of me.

I'm one degree away from Kevin Bacon. But I'm only three away from Hugh Jackman.

He gave me a LOT of attitude during notes yesterday. I'm thinking I might accidentally call his blackout cue a little early.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job....

Did you get the new office supplies catalog? Christmas came early!

Dee

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #4 on: Jan 19, 2012, 12:38 pm »
15 minutes early is on time.

Safety First!


iamchristuffin

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #5 on: Jan 19, 2012, 02:03 pm »
So, why are you late?


PSMKay

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #6 on: Jan 19, 2012, 04:20 pm »
Hold please!

Puuuuuuuh-laces everyone!

*GLARE*

Reset, we're gonna run that transition again.

Quick question when you have a sec...

megan.s.lehr

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #7 on: Jan 20, 2012, 12:06 am »
*GLARE*

^ Haha, I DEFINITELY do that like... I don't know.. everyday!  :P

"Honey, you need to step into the light" (actors response) "No, really sweety, I wasn't joking"
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
— Marilyn Monroe

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
— Dr. Seuss

nmno

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #8 on: Jan 20, 2012, 12:09 am »
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

Samazon

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #9 on: Jan 20, 2012, 12:23 am »
Quiet please.

Where did you last see your prop/shoes/script?

I also like sleep, food, coffee and a shower.
“All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now."

ScooterSM

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #10 on: Jan 20, 2012, 10:48 am »
Your other left...

Let me see what I can do...

Of course I don't mind staying in tech notes until 1am...
“I've never been paid a lot, but the theatre has kept me, and for that I shall be eternally grateful.” Tony Church

catalinacisne

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #11 on: Jan 20, 2012, 01:18 pm »
"We're on a five, please!"

"Wait for my G-O."

"Can you check your rulebook on that one?"

"No, you can't have any. That candy is for the tech table."

BARussell

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #12 on: Jan 21, 2012, 03:12 pm »
"Hey, where are you?"

"You're late!"

"Totally did that already"   :o

"I need to pee!"

"I need to eat!"

"LOOK at this email she just sent to me!"

"Have I slept?"

"I haven't slept all week!"

"In tech last night..."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Stop it!"

"shhhh!"
"Quiet please!"
 "QUIET please!"
 "QUIET PLEASE!"
 "Alright you guys we have a lot of work to do and it's difficult if everyone is talking, if you have something very important to discuss with someone please leave the room, but make sure you are back quickly and do not miss a cue."

"COMPUTER WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING!"

"Check over this email before I send"

"Look in my SM kit!"

"Go to your fittings!!!"

"That was really good."

"Are you okay?"

"The audience didn't notice"

"Yes cause I have nothing better to do then, keep track of their schedule....I know!"

"Did you check the callboard?"

"Check the hotline"

"Check the website"

"Check your email"

"Check your texts"

"Check your voicemail"

"Check the other calboard"

"Check the calendar"

"Check the weekly schedule"

"Check the daily call"

"The director wants..."

"What happened?"

"What did you do?"

"Why are you late?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"I'll have to ask higher ups."

"We have a meeting"

"It's already _o'clock!"

"You went to Staples!"

"Staples Coupons!"

"His paperwork rocks!"

"They actually called to tell me, they're awesome!"

"Worst cast ever..."

"Best cast ever!"

"They were nice, just not the best fit for the job"

"They were great at their job, but sometimes you know different personalities sometimes don't work well together."

"Am I allowed to fire them?"

"Oh...yeah, they're...well I've...umm, I've worked with them before."

"I like run of show."

"I like the rehearsal process"

"I like pre-pro."

"I slept on my day off."

" I don't need to go back and run it again."

"Standby"

"Go!"
 
"Hold please!"

"shit, shit, shit."

"Is everyone ok?!"

"Stupid headset!"

"Stupid stapler."

"Stupid computer."

"Stupid pen."

"Where's my clipboard?"

"Where'd you get that pen?"

"Where'd you get that notepad?"

"You did this in excel right?"

"I LOVE BORDERS!"

"I update my resume weekly."

"Yes!"

"My stage manager sense kicked in."

"I saw the show, but all I could think about was how they were calling it."

"Can I quit?"

"Can I be fired please?"

"Why do i like doing this...oh yeah I forgot."

"Good job everyone."

"My whole closet is blacks!"

" Have a goodnight, see you bright and early."

"Woo first rehearsal"

"I feel like we've been in rehearsal forever.

"QUIET!"
"We don't negotiate with weirdos!"

ambrosialx

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #13 on: Jan 27, 2012, 07:10 pm »
no thanks i don't drink
"I will prepare and someday my chance will come"

bradthommo1

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Re: Things Stage Managers Say
« Reply #14 on: Jan 28, 2012, 01:03 am »

"No, you can't have any. That candy is for the tech table."

I love that one!!!
Cheers
Bradthommo1

 

riotous