The Big "Thank You Notes" Thread!

[KMC]

To be fair- before e-mail the way people followed up was via phone or sending a quick note. The ones I send don't actually say "thank you" on them- they are blank cards where I can write a note.

I think having something tangible is a really nice touch in a world of electronic communication where it is so easy to hit delete and forget about it.

While I do agree that hand-written is a nice touch in personal settings, I think the expectation in normal business is to respond in whatever method of commutation is the accepted norm.  20 years ago it was hand-written notes, and it would've been outside the norm to send a telegram, just as now it's outside the norm to send a hand-written note.

[StageSerenity]

How do you write a thank you note to someone who didn't really do their job and you had pick up the slack for?

(BACKROUND: I'm currently the ASM for this show. I've worked at this company before, they like me, as well as the kids and the parents love me. I've been hired back for part of the next season as their stage manager.)

I like to write thank you notes to go with the small gifts I usually give to the management team (directors, co-directors, AD's, stage managers, co-stage managers, ASM's) I know and follow all the all or nothing "rule" with cards and gifts, but I don't want to not give anything to an amazing director, a decent co-director (this is her first time directing and she's doing a pretty good job), but this stage manager is making this difficult.

Any tips on what should I do?

Edited to add topic tag- Maribeth

[PSMKay]

Thank them for the support they did provide and for the learning experience. I'm sure you learned something, even if it's how to cover for a slacking supervisor. (You don't have to mention that part, though.)

[loebtmc]

You can say something as simple as "happy opening!" or "here's to a great run" - and leave it at that.....

[MatthewShiner]

simply "happy opening" is enough.

[StageSerenity]

Okay, so now everybody gets a card, but what about gifts?

After the final show is the cast and crew party, (parents and children invited for a small fee to cover food). At this party the sentiments begin, (working with children makes this a party like no other) "Oh great shows, I love you guys" ect. happens and gifts come out for the production team. I personally always give gifts to "the team" because we've just spent the majority of three months of our life together and usually it's a pretty decent time. I always find relevancy for someones gift and I do a great job of figuring out what people like and I always been very selective about what gifts I give.

Anyhow I want to give gifts, even to him (so I can give gifts to everyone else), any ideas?
(Male, 19, first time stage manager...that's all I got basically for information about him)

Perhaps a book on stage management?
(I do have a fallback choice in mind for him as well)

[ejsmith3130]

If you want to go with gifts, I usually do something small and related to the show in some way- if you want to go above and beyond for someone who really made a difference to you- great.

Some examples: We did princess and the pea and I made some little pea shaped pillows with the show dates embroidered. My senior production had some heavy duty chains as part of the set, so I got necklaces made from a nice silver chain for my team. If you make it related to the show, then it is easy to give and relate if you don't have a personal relationship with the person.

I also know an SM who gives out potted plants at closing so people can "watch them grow with love like our show did". Cheesy and fun and I love it.

Whatever you do- don't stress too much about it. I can't tell you how many cards (and actual gifts) I have found left at the theatre after closing while cleaning up. It is a way bigger deal in your brain than theirs: promise.

[Daffy]

... Whatever you do- don't stress too much about it. I can't tell you how many cards (and actual gifts) I have found left at the theatre after closing while cleaning up. It is a way bigger deal in your brain than theirs: promise.

True for most .. but there are always those few who will save that thank you and actually add it to their theatre memorabilia ..

[missliz]

Okay, so now everybody gets a card, but what about gifts?

After the final show is the cast and crew party, (parents and children invited for a small fee to cover food). At this party the sentiments begin, (working with children makes this a party like no other) "Oh great shows, I love you guys" ect. happens and gifts come out for the production team. I personally always give gifts to "the team" because we've just spent the majority of three months of our life together and usually it's a pretty decent time. I always find relevancy for someones gift and I do a great job of figuring out what people like and I always been very selective about what gifts I give.

Anyhow I want to give gifts, even to him (so I can give gifts to everyone else), any ideas?
(Male, 19, first time stage manager...that's all I got basically for information about him)

Perhaps a book on stage management?
(I do have a fallback choice in mind for him as well)

There's a thread with SM gifts here:
http://smnetwork.org/forum/the-green-room/sm-gifts!/msg31192/#msg31192

On my first professional gig as an ASM, my SM gave me a great mini-maglite.

[Dart]

Cabaret Barroco is soft-opening on Thursday, press-opening on Saturday. I have all of my thank-you/break-a-leg notes (cast, crew, designers, production) written, but am not entirely clear of how/when to deliver them.

I really have two questions: 1) Should I deliver these on soft or fancy opening? Soft comes first, fancy is what we're considering "real" opening. 2) Some of the people I've notes for are gone - out of town, new theatres, etc. I don't know if they'll be at any of the performances, and I do not have their mailing address. Would it be okay, and proper, to ask the PM for their mailing address so I can post them? Should I hand her the sealed, stamped envelopes and ask her to address them so I don't have to see their info?

Edited to add topic tag - Maribeth

[Maribeth]

Thank you notes are a matter of personal preference- I think it's up to you when to deliver them. It's easiest before people leave town so if there are going to be more people around for soft opening that would be gone by fancy opening, I (personally) would do them at soft opening.

You could ask the PM- if they say no, then they say no. You could also email the folks directly and say, "I have a card that I was hoping to give you, but since I didn't catch you before you left town, is there a mailing address I could send it to?"

[Dart]

Here I am with yet another question!

My second play at the same theatre in a row is about to open. Since rehearsals for #2 began on opening week for #1, and since I've also been working rentals at this same theatre, my relationship with my PM and TD hasn't changed - I have even sent texts asking for things related to #1, #2, and a rental at the same time.

I am, of course, writing thank-you notes for the director, designers, and production team, and break-a-leg notes for the actors. I'm planning on writing notes for the PM and TD as well, but my question is: Is there a point, in working with the same people and same theatre, in which you're writing these too often? Do resident SMs write thank-you notes every time?

I see thank-you notes as a nice gesture for people whose work you value, and I don't want to seem obnoxious!

Edited to add topic tag. - Maribeth

[BayAreaSM]

For me, I've only written thank yous for directors and actors. Way back in the day I would include designers, but I was never one for going beyond that into regular company staff positions (TD, PM, Costume Shop Manager, etc).

My last "big" straight play was in 2008, and after that my residency at a ballet really took off - so with the same group of dancers, artistic staff and lighting designer all season long, no one was writing Thank You cards. Since then I've done smaller projects, lasting no more than 2 weeks and no one writes cards or notes for those either (except for a very thankful Director who was a friend of mine). I'd say focus on the new people for each show, the people there every day - and if you want, expand into designers. Otherwise I think you're going overboard.

[Maribeth]

Thank you notes are great- especially if they are heartfelt and personal. I think thank you notes are a personal choice and if that's what feels right to you, then go for it. But, if you're concerned about it being overkill, consider another expression of gratitude, like doughnuts at an early meeting or the first round of beers.