I can't believe I just had to do that...

[planetmike]

As soon as I finished my scene change, I grabbed a feather and some debris (confetti that seemed like a ceiling was cracking) and ran up

You didn't preset the feathers and debris? Why carry it every time?

Kidding aside, it's amazing what we have to come up with sometimes isn't it? Thanks for sharing!

[Tempest]

Less funny and more, "What are people thinking!?" 
I just had to ask our house manager to post a guard by the set any time the audience is wandering (pre-show, intermission, post-show, post-talkback), because they are stealing and eating our prop mints.  A different style show, I'd just set the mints at places, but that's not an option for this house!

[maximillionx]

As soon as I finished my scene change, I grabbed a feather and some debris (confetti that seemed like a ceiling was cracking) and ran up

You didn't preset the feathers and debris? Why carry it every time?

Kidding aside, it's amazing what we have to come up with sometimes isn't it? Thanks for sharing!

I couldn't preset...I was only a lowly freshman crewmember.... And where would the fun be if I didn't have to carry it all with me?

[dallas10086]

Less funny and more, "What are people thinking!?" 
I just had to ask our house manager to post a guard by the set any time the audience is wandering (pre-show, intermission, post-show, post-talkback), because they are stealing and eating our prop mints.  A different style show, I'd just set the mints at places, but that's not an option for this house!

I'm already anticipating problems for our show opening in-the-round next month. Gold coins, big bags stuffed with skeletons and bodies, benches, stools, paper...and some sections of the audience have to pass through the set to get to their seats. Very strong temptations apparently. The last time we did it this way we had audience members looking through the very meticulously placed jewelry in a closed jewelry box.

I'm thinking of standing by with the god mic and making an announcement anytime someone starts touching props before curtain. Just kidding. Maybe.

[RuthNY]

We do this every night of the season, in our thrust house. Even with the usher/house staff "guards," audience members find their way onto the stage almost nightly.

Less funny and more, "What are people thinking!?" 
I just had to ask our house manager to post a guard by the set any time the audience is wandering (pre-show, intermission, post-show, post-talkback), because they are stealing and eating our prop mints.  A different style show, I'd just set the mints at places, but that's not an option for this house!

[maximillionx]

We do this every night of the season, in our thrust house. Even with the usher/house staff "guards," audience members find their way onto the stage almost nightly.

Less funny and more, "What are people thinking!?" 
I just had to ask our house manager to post a guard by the set any time the audience is wandering (pre-show, intermission, post-show, post-talkback), because they are stealing and eating our prop mints.  A different style show, I'd just set the mints at places, but that's not an option for this house!

I work in a theatre where all our shows are in the round.  I haven't had a problem with people touching things too much yet.  This may be because our ushers are standing in the middle of the stage helping people to their seats.
We do often have people leave their empty wine, beer, soda, popcorn, whatever on set pieces.  I try to get to them before someone accidentally leaves a water ring on an expensive antique table...

[cschott]

Sort of on the flip side of the usher guards around the set: I've gone to see a few shows that my husband has designed for a local company.  They use "found" spaces and set up their audience risers a bit differently at each space.  But there's always almost no space between the front row and the stage or playing space.  I am so trained NOT to walk on the stage as an audience member that I just won't even sit anywhere that requires me to do so.  And when I just can't get a seat without walking on the stage, I feel wrong and self-concious the whole time.  Sort of like wearing open-toed shoes on a stage even when I'm not actually working.

[Bwoodbury]

I ASMed a production of LaBute's The Distance From Here and I not only had to roll joints, I also had to stuff a baby in a duffel bag, cover it in towels, and set a tape recorder of crying baby sounds to play at the correct volume, then hand it off to an actor to throw into a 'penguin pit.' My parents still ask me if the next play is gonna be 'another baby-killing play.'

[missliz]

In a slightly different vein....The Changing Room takes place in a locker room during a men's rugby game. All-male, naked-half-the-time cast.

Sometimes they go to the "showers," which were offstage. Guess who had to quickly hose down naked and near-naked men in the handicapped bathroom?

[PSMAK]

A couple of years ago at the current theatre that I'm at, we toured a production of "HONK!" to an elementary school. All of the sound cues were on my laptop and we weren't able to connect it to the gym's sound system. I had to do all of the sound cues by mouth with a megaphone behind the set that we borrowed from the PE teacher. Fortunate for me, I always did the voice of the farmer live in our theatre anyway. The hard part was doing gunshots, glass crashing, animal noises, snow storm, etc.

[loebtmc]

doing gunshots, glass crashing, animal noises, snow storm, etc.

where are the guys from Prairie Home Companion when you need them, eh?

[PSMKay]

This is a story that I'd totally forgotten about until I wound up in full-on nostalgia mode at the bar last night.  It occurred to me halfway through the story that it would fit perfectly in this thread.

Going back to late 1993 here.  Senior year in high school I was not a stage manager yet - I was, however, a wannabe director AND head acolyte/altar girl at my suburban church.  (For those of you who know me and my subsequent lifestyle choices this will be incredibly amusing.) 

As I was a precocious little kid and an accomplished brown-noser, I had an arrangement with the PM and Assistant PM at the Hartford Stage Company that permitted me to sit in on their tech rehearsals and watch everything as it unfolded.  I was down there every 8 weeks or so for another round of observation.  (It was really fun!)

That year, the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut appointed a new head bishop, who was to be ordained at the cathedral in Hartford, across the street from the Hartford Stage Company.  Churches from all over the state sent people to participate in this service, and I was sent from my church to serve as an acolyte.  Due to the huge number of people attending, they had rented the Hartford Stage space for the overflow with CCTV showing what was happening in the actual cathedral and one of the other bishops serving on the stage of the theatre in person.

I was assigned through the names-in-a-hat process to be the acolyte for the theatre overflow service.  As I was supposed to be leading the procession for this group of clergy, I found out about this 15 minutes before the service started, when I was giving my marching orders for where I was supposed to lead the procession.  It was for most of the acolytes a less-than opportune scenario as it didn't allow them to be seen by the majority of the congregation.  I believe I burst out laughing when I was informed.

So, carrying a rather heavy cross and wearing full religious regalia, I led my little posse of bishop... and priests... and a small choir... up the aisle of the cathedral (don't trip)... out the side door (eek it's bright out here)... across the street (this is getting surreal)... into the theatre... past the Assistant PM who had no idea that I was coming.  I made eye contact with her only briefly and the look of combined sudden recognition, amusement and relief on her face was truly impressive.  I took my seat on the stage and spent the entire service trying not to giggle at the absurdity of the entire situation.

[VSM]

Just had the first orchestra rehearsal for ANNIE in the rehearsal room. After the rehearsal, I had to mop up the spittle from the spit valves of all the brass. Can you say disgusting that they simply walked away from it!?!

[bex]

Just had the first orchestra rehearsal for ANNIE in the rehearsal room. After the rehearsal, I had to mop up the spittle from the spit valves of all the brass. Can you say disgusting that they simply walked away from it!?!

I've had to do that every time I've worked with an orchestra, and it never gets any less disgusting. I just don't understand it...

[bex]

I just taped out a box set on shag carpeting. None of the lines are straight, because pressing the tape down so it will sort-of stick makes the carpet move underneath it.