Did he REALLY ask me that?

[missliz]

"Hey on_headset, can I talk to you? See, I was wondering if we could get some condoms for the green room..."

DON'T WANT TO KNOW
DON'T WANT TO KNOW
STICK YOUR BITS INTO WHOEVER YOU LIKE
BUT I DON'T WANT TO KNOW

Are you sure they weren't for mic packs?

[loebtmc]

Are you sure they weren't for mic packs?

that wd be my guess too - still, tho, one of the fun things we include in normal conversation

[Tempest]

"Hey on_headset, can I talk to you? See, I was wondering if we could get some condoms for the green room..."

DON'T WANT TO KNOW
DON'T WANT TO KNOW
STICK YOUR BITS INTO WHOEVER YOU LIKE
BUT I DON'T WANT TO KNOW

*snort* reminds me of the overheard conversation as two people walked toward me a theatre department party, back in college.  (Dear Goddess, that's getting way back at this point.  Who said I could get old?)
"Ask tempest_gypsy, she's always prepared."
"She doesn't sleep around, there's no way she has any."
"She keeps them in her kit, just ask her!"
"Her kit isn't here, she just has that tiny purse, I'm not asking her!"
By this time they were practically in front of me.
"ASK HER!"  *shove*

I looked at the red faced cast member standing in front of me, pulled the needed item out of my purse without him saying a word (packed precisely because I knew the tendancies and general preparedness level of the other folks who were going to be at the party, and if your SM doesn't look out for you, who will), handed him two without a word and stalked off in search of another beer.

On the plus side, that particular actor (my problem child) continued to be so mortified the rest of the run that he became the most well behaved, if somewhat distant, performer I worked with in college!

[dallas10086]

Hilarious tempest_gypsy!

[On_Headset]

I looked at the red faced cast member standing in front of me, pulled the needed item out of my purse without him saying a word (packed precisely because I knew the tendancies and general preparedness level of the other folks who were going to be at the party, and if your SM doesn't look out for you, who will), handed him two without a word and stalked off in search of another beer.

And every inch a stage manager.

You should have expensed them, if your program allowed it. ("Well, no, the condoms weren't used in the production, but if Janet Weiss got herself knocked up, we wouldn't have much of a show!")

And, strictly for reference, we aren't issuing mic packs for this show. Maybe they're planning to swap goldfish?

[Tempest]

This is less than funny and a more sweet (with overtones of, "Why don't you do that yourself?")
Currently working a three person show, and the weather was ABYSMAL, last night: ice, freezing rain, wind, and the associated stupid drivers.  One of my cast members arrived and recounted 14 accidents he passed en route.
Five minutes to call, both my male actors are in, but my female actor hasn't arrived yet.  The two men come up to me as I'm conversing with the House Manager, give me puppy dog eyes and say, "We're worried about Megan."
"Do you want me to call her?  She's not late, yet."
"Pleeeeease?"

They were very sweet, I called her, she was pulling in right that moment.  But in the back of my mind, I was thinking, "Are your phones broken?"

[Tempest]

Today I had one of my two crew members ask me, five minutes before a FAST changeover of the rep sets, between shows, if she could leave the theatre and go pick up her friend.  (This is a professional, repeat, not a school, production.)
Actually, the exact words used were, "I just wanted to check in with you before I left the theatre..." at which point she looked at my incredulous expression and trailed off.  "I can go get him, right?"
"No."