Author Topic: Best one-liner from a performance report  (Read 41256 times)

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crazychicksj

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #15 on: Mar 03, 2010, 03:41 am »
Back stage is too loud
...a few notes down...
back stage is eerily quiet
...even further...
PM is considering replacing back stage with llamas as they're more predictable


DeeCap

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #16 on: Mar 03, 2010, 11:26 am »
From a rehearsal report.

Director would like to have the feathers fall faster when they drop from the grid. Is this possible?

MarcyReed

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #17 on: Mar 03, 2010, 12:56 pm »
this is one from a show I worked on: [actress] couldn't find her fake breast before the performance. ASM went out into the parking lot to look for it, and a man had picked it up, took it in his car, and started driving away. Breast has been retrieved.

missliz

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #18 on: Mar 03, 2010, 07:41 pm »
Aha- one from last night:

Accident/Injury- [Actress] was poked in the eye by [Actor]'s nose from an overenthusiastic kiss. [Actor] said he would be less lustful next time.
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

Lauren

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #19 on: Mar 03, 2010, 09:20 pm »
From a show I did this past summer:
"Does (actress) still need to dye her bra?"
"The truth is rarely pure, and never simple" -Oscar Wilde

Cedes

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #20 on: Mar 29, 2010, 04:49 pm »
this was from a rehearsal report: "(Actress) is wondering if she can take her clothes off now."

For my last show, "Comedy of Errors," I went into the habit of putting quotes from rehearsal at the bottom of each report. Everyone who got the reports loved it and couldn't wait to get the next one so they could read them (also my little trick to get them to LOOK at the reports ;) ) and this one was from the director:

"Let the stage shine with your bodies."

dallas10086

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #21 on: Mar 30, 2010, 10:14 am »
Sometimes they're real and sometimes they're not...I like to see who has been paying attention to the reports:

Real - "Heard 'mama!' several times during scene change into rape scene. Box office said they sold two child tickets (under 8 yrs old) near front row for tonite's performance. Cast and crew pleased with our contribution to traumatizing the kiddies."

Real - "Strange giggles during Blanche's monologue describing husband shooting himself in the head..." Not Real - "Realized opening night coincided with S&M convention downtown."

Sadly, very Real - "Got technical notes from actor because his friend in the audience gave him technical notes. Requested he break the radio every night rather than letting it fall onto crash pad. SM requested he stop listening to friends."

damjamkato

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #22 on: Mar 30, 2010, 05:33 pm »
There is a buildup of fairy-dust near the edges of the stage that needs to be dealt with.

PSMKay

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #23 on: Mar 30, 2010, 06:14 pm »
"Rise and Fall" fell and then rose again.  (Book prop got kicked off the apron, then an audience member tossed it back up.)

BenTheStageMan

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #24 on: Apr 02, 2010, 03:12 pm »
"Tonight we had a little problem with a melting electrical outlet. Rehearsal was moved to the band room."

"Boat = Cow going into Pandemonium"

"Tray is to be oriented on (actor) in a somewhat phallic fashion (sticking out longer than it is wide)."

My SM hinting she needs a key to the theatre, doing 25th Annual Spelling Bee: "Key: a small metal object used to lock and unlock doors. Use in a Sentence: We were thankful (actor) had a key to (Theatre) so she could lock up for us last night."

"(Set Designer) would like us to note that American Flags are to be placed on the house left side of the stage.  He may turn us into the authorities if we do not comply."

From Seussical "Also, reminder that (Actor) will not make it to Christmas"
"Show people are doomed!  Doomed to a life of booze...and pills...and heavy meals late at night!" -Judy, "Ruthless!"

missliz

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #25 on: May 16, 2010, 11:23 pm »
Accident/Injury- [Actress] punched self in the nose during pre-show dressing room ABBA dance party. Suitably embarrassed but otherwise fine.
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

BeccaTheSM

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #26 on: Jun 03, 2010, 06:37 pm »
"The boys can start wearing their heels for rehearsal starting next Monday."

"There was toilet paper thrown, but not large rolls and only a few. The phantoms all seemed to wear the toilet paper as a scarf."

"Intermission was held long for a search in the crowd for a water bottle filled with alcohol. It was never found."

"The audience cheered for Frank skipping rope with the whip."

"They cheered a LOT for the bowl [of pot]. I think I heard someone asking if she would share."

"Frank's Floor Show appearance, {poop}, and reappearance received applause."

"Eddie's wig and scar both came off as he died/was kicked into the fridge. He recovered well."

All for a production of The Rocky Horror Show.

Funny story, the alcohol search was called on because before the show starts, the Phantoms roam around the house, talking and messing with the audience. One of the guys went up to someone and drank from their water bottle. This guy, having never had alcohol in his life, came back stage complaining of a burnt throat. Find out later, it was my roommate's mom, with a sports water bottle with a straw, filled with ice and pino grigio, which by the time the phantom had gotten to it, it was mostly water. He never lived that down.

EDIT: profanity redacted. - PSMK
« Last Edit: Jun 04, 2010, 01:08 am by PSMKay »
Art, in itself, is an attempt to bring order out of chaos. - Stephen Sondheim

JessieLynn

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #27 on: Jul 04, 2010, 01:15 pm »
From a rehearsal report:

"(Actor) has expressed concerns that his biceps are too muscular to appropriately portray the age of the character. He requests sleeves for his costume, or a cloak."

Lizzie

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #28 on: Jul 06, 2010, 06:29 am »
"An audience member sneezed during the scene change 4-5 which echoed very loudly on the sound reverb."

Jill Woodward

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Re: Best one-liner from a performance report
« Reply #29 on: Jul 09, 2010, 04:52 pm »
"[Actress]'s chest sufficient." after discussing her dress and possibility of padding

Post Merge: Jul 09, 2010, 04:53 pm
"Towards the end of the 5.2 an audience member walked onto the stage, crossed to the table and touched the food props.  He then asked Petruchio “Yo, yo! Can I get a biscuit?”"

I cannot believe this happened. Wow.
« Last Edit: Jul 09, 2010, 04:53 pm by Jill Woodward »