[GAME] The Show Report

[PSMKay]

Continuing to test my hypothesis that stage managers can play theatre games too... here comes... "The Show Report!"

So Hell in a Handbag was reasonably popular last year. In fact, I have it on good faith that it has snuck into several stage management courses as a classroom activity. It focused on how small notes that can come up during the rehearsal process can cause big problems. Well, the beast of a show that we were "rehearsing" last year has somehow made it to opening night! It's time for you, the beleaguered stage manager, to write the show report for a performance where everything goes wrong.

Here's how it works.

Player #1 presents a problem that occurred with the performance. This can be anything from missed entrances and drunk stagehands to broken props and missed entrances.

Player #2 provides the follow up on how the problem was solved and what preventive measures should be taken to keep it from happening again. Player #2 then lists the next catastrophe that occurred.

Repeat ad infinitum.

Some basic constraints:
- The show is occurring in an indoor, land-based proscenium house.
- The production is non-union.
- You have a crew of reasonable size and average competence at your disposal, but not an entire battalion of Batman clones and Time Lords.
- Similarly, you have at your disposal items that would traditionally be contained backstage. First aid kits, hardware, spare scenery, flashlights, sewing kits, heavy objects, etc. However, due to a planning oversight there is a limited supply of gaff tape. Gaff tape may only be used to solve a problem once per page. (That is to say, only once every 15 posts.) (Admin may use gaff tape a 2nd time if the game appears to be stalling.)
- The production is a musical revue. Don't worry about constraining your "problems" to conform to a particular scripted plot.
- The "problems" can be due to issues from outside the company - audience members, weather, etc. However, please stay away from any "problems" and "solutions" that would cause widespread global havoc beyond the theater doors. This includes things like nuclear annihilation, giant radioactive lizards, first contact, splicers, head crabs, fairy magic, lembas bread, political intrigue and generally violating the laws of physics.
- You can rip your problems from the headlines of your own career - please do! - but use caution and don't name any names.

Hell/handbag started with Amy and her bagel, and that worked so well. Let's do that again!

First problem: Amy choked on her bagel and spent several minutes having a coughing fit.

[Tempest]

Solution: Scene partner David gave up his "whiskey" to help her wash it down, and then went to stare awkwardly out the window until the scene could resume.

Problem: Something unknown went awry in the new llight board in scene 2, and every smart light (i.e. most of the plot) did not do anything the rest of the show.

(yes, this was an opening night years ago)

[RuthNY]

Solution: Knowing that technology can fail, our very forward thinking lighting designer had instructed the LBO to program 12 submasters with simple area lighting for each individual part of the stage/set. When we realized what was happening, the LBO and I collaborated to light the remainder of Act I with these submasters. After conferring with management during intermission, it was decided for us to continue in this manner for the remainder of the show. Since we also had the 2 follow spots, (this is a musical revue...) we were able to do a complete performance, and management was very grateful. Early call for the Electrics Department tomorrow, to diagnose and repair the issue.

In the show report-12 minutes from the end of the performance, the lift that moves the barre unit up and down to the stage from the trap room went down as usual, the scenic piece was struck, but the empty lift would not return to the stage, leaving a gaping hole DSC, just before the full company finale.

Solution: Scene partner David gave up his "whiskey" to help her wash it down, and then went to stare awkwardly out the window until the scene could resume.

Problem: Something unknown went awry in the new light board in scene 2, and every smart light (i.e. most of the plot) did not do anything the rest of the show.

(yes, this was an opening night years ago)

[DeeCap]

Solution-If it is large enough for someone to fall in, at an appropriate time (end of song or an exit),  bring the curtain down and hold the show in order to fix it. Tell house management the situation.  If it can't be fixed in a relative short time, (5 minutes or less) warn the cast about the hole, put a mattress underneath it,  and if there are any blackouts, bring up blues (as there are a few cues that are blueouts) After the show discuss with crew chief and put in the report that they will come in early to troubleshoot.

Problem-(this happened to me years ago) An actor calls from a payphone 14 miles from his car saying it broke down. He doesn't own a cell phone.  No understudy. He is a major character. You just called 1/2 hour.

[On_Headset]

An actor calls from a payphone 14 miles from his car saying it broke down.

He's already walked 14 miles to the payphone; he can make it to the theatre in time. 

(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

[DeeCap]

An actor calls from a payphone 14 miles from his car saying it broke down.

He's already walked 14 miles to the payphone; he can make it to the theatre in time. 

(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

I understand.  Alas, in real life he arrived just as the show was ending. The next day he went out and bought a cell phone.

[KMC]

Solution-If it is large enough for someone to fall in, at an appropriate time (end of song or an exit),  bring the curtain down and hold the show in order to fix it. Tell house management the situation.  If it can't be fixed in a relative short time, (5 minutes or less) warn the cast about the hole, put a mattress underneath it,  and if there are any blackouts, bring up blues (as there are a few cues that are blueouts) After the show discuss with crew chief and put in the report that they will come in early to troubleshoot.

Problem-(this happened to me years ago) An actor calls from a payphone 14 miles from his car saying it broke down. He doesn't own a cell phone.  No understudy. He is a major character. You just called 1/2 hour.

Solution: A brilliant stroke of luck!  A PA on staff won the under 16 Southeast regional go-kart championship in 2004 and is dispatched posthaste to fetch the actor, arriving just in time for places.

Problem: Said actor's costume and makeup are extensive and take the full half hour every performance

[On_Headset]

Solution: assuming there are no backend issues related to a half-hour hold (it doesn't throw off a carefully-crafted break schedule, it doesn't push people into overtime, etc.) so long as you announce it at the very beginning, a half-hour hold to "address a serious technical issue" is not the end of the world. (The audience won't like it, but I guarantee they'd prefer it to a cancellation or sitting in the theatre without any news whatsoever for half an hour.) Give FoH 2 minutes before you announce the hold so they can get ready for the outflow, and--if you've got the policy in place--authorize FoH to comp beverages for customers who complain or are visibly having a bad night. Make sure you warn box office, too: they're going to need to stay open, and they're probably going to be screamed at.

If you do have backend issues, winnow it down to an (announced) 10-minute hold. Makeup and costumes can decide for themselves which elements to prioritize and which to half-ass; emphasize that mid-show touch-up work is acceptable.

In the latter case, you should also prepare a special joint briefing for the producer and box office manager. Some patrons may complain about the incomplete costume (meaning they'll want exchanges, refunds, chargebacks, etc.), and this will go smoother if the staff are anticipating it.

Problem: Mid-run, you learn that an actor, who has a number of raunchy nude scenes, provided a fake ID; he's only 17 years old. There's no danger on his end (his parents aren't going to pull him out of the show or anything like that), but you are, at this point, skirting the decency laws.

The next performance is in 20 minutes.