Author Topic: "I quit!"  (Read 8985 times)

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dallas10086

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"I quit!"
« on: Feb 20, 2013, 06:42 pm »
We've all thought it, we've all come to that point where we were thisclose to saying it...but out of curiosity, who has actually done it? What were the circumstances? What was the proverbial final straw?

I've never quit a show persay - I've had to back out before rehearsals started but found them a replacement, and I've had another job come up during the last week of performances but agreed to share my stipend for another replacement...but I've never been to the point where it was so intolerable that I couldn't take it anymore.

PSMKay

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #1 on: Feb 20, 2013, 07:09 pm »
I quit a show although it was after the last performance in the middle of strike. I had been dealing with massive race and gender based harassment for the entire duration of the run, and wanted to make it very obvious to the crew that the person responsible should never eat lunch (or anything else) in this town again.

Unfortunately the person responsible for the problem was the executive director of the company, and he's still doing theatre while I'm out of the industry. It didn't have an immediate effect on my next jobs, and in fact I don't think the issue ever raised its head again even though we ran in the same circles for quite some time. Hopefully he did learn that his behavior was unacceptable, though, and maybe some of the other people watching reconsidered some of their actions too.

MatthewShiner

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #2 on: Feb 20, 2013, 08:09 pm »
I used to practice saying it in the shower.

It was when my health was in jeopardy, my personal relationship, my sanity - and I realized that it was truly time for me to move on.  (Now, I did line up a job first . . .)  I compared what I was with the job, and what I would be without the job.

It's cathartic to be to do it - you will feel when it is right - and we you do . . . wait a week or so and see how it feels then.  But enjoying saying it in the shower over and over.

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dallas10086

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #3 on: Feb 20, 2013, 11:11 pm »
I used to practice saying it in the shower.

Something else for me to steal, thank you Matthew! Think I'll use it on the treadmill, too.

ejsmith3130

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #4 on: Feb 21, 2013, 12:01 am »
During a nightmare of a summerstock experiance I started driving home (over 5 hours away) on my first day off, but turned around after about an hour on the highway. I hadn't really packed my stuff, but by getting away I was able to get it out of my system. I think I purposely left the majority of my things back at the house because I knew that I wouldn't leave the actors and director (whom I enjoyed working with very much) in a situation without a stage manager.

I was young and as my first real job I was also taken advantage of. I have since learned when it is okay to say no for your own health and sanity, and what is reasonable to be expected from a stage manager. I am proud to say that I didn't run away or quit, but when the executive director approached me asking me to stay on for the rest of the summer  I did decline in a polite and proffesional way. I also found a way out of going back the next summer, even though that was offered too. There are things in life than a job.

babens

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #5 on: Feb 21, 2013, 01:55 am »
Three years ago I left a six month contract with close to six weeks left to go. I was dealing with a severe case of insomnia (some of it stress related to the job, some of it due to an emotional issue that had nothing to do with the job). It reached the point where I was sleeping maybe two hours a night if I was lucky and even the medications were not helping. Luckily the company I was with was very understanding and supportive and knew that I had to leave to take care of myself. I've since worked with this company again on multiple projects, so I know that there were no hard feelings.

But reaching that point where I finally had to admit to myself that I couldn't effectively do my job in the mental and physical state I was in was definitely a very hard thing to do.  It taught me a lot about myself and I definitely now make my health (both physical and mental) a much higher priority.

SMrose

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #6 on: Feb 21, 2013, 09:40 am »
I resigned from an open-ended show (many years ago).  The producer was a nightmare to work with. Our set designer quit a few weeks before opening, the director was also a nightmare.  I stayed on for 5 months and then had just had it.  The producer was lining up understudies for all cast members (more of a threat than out of need) and the experience just wasn't enjoyable any more.  I gave notice, was replaced and the show closed a month later (due to the drop in morale and drop off in audiences---the producer didn't know when to leave 'em wanting more).

I recently worked a show where the SM just never came back after first tech. 

Tempest

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #7 on: Feb 21, 2013, 01:48 pm »
I quit a long standing run after 2.5 years where the control-freak producer/playwright/theatre owner kept taking away my responsibility and was just a growing nightmare to work with. I could not give the cast notes, or even tell them, "quiet backstage." I was allowed to make 15-10-5 minute calls only at his discretion. I was not allowed in touch-up, walk-on or understudy rehearsals, and was expected to maintain the poorly constructed set with no tools other than tape and not allowed to provide input as to how it could be repaired in a more permanent way. I really do believe he was a mental case who needed to be evaluated and medicated.  I was told that he took all his clothes off during a rehearsal for his next show and tried to make the (all female cast) take their off, too because "everyone in it needed to be as comfortable with their bodies as he was with his."

I started contemplating quitting when he told me I was no longer allowed to make shopping lists of backstage supplies (toilet paper, spray starch, light bulbs for dressing areas and bathrooms, and the like) because I put down that we needed to buy more toilet paper when we still had two whole rolls left. Not packs, rolls.

I finally gave my two weeks notice (conveniently, two weeks before winter holiday break, giving them a full five weeks to find a replacement) when he came into my booth during the show and asked me to leave the show and go do a craft project for him. I said no. I think this may be the first time someone had said "no" to him in years. He threw what can only be described as a hissy fit, backstage, the whole rest of the show. We had a post-show talk that I doubt went the way he expected. I refused to give ground, and at one point, he actually stepped up onto the stage in an obvious ploy to use his height to intimidate me. Which did not work. Please, I've been short my whole life.

I explained to him what a stage manager was, what my professional standards are, and that if he was pissed at me to never ever EVER again take it out on the cast during a show. He tried to tell me that he owned me (no seriously, owned me like a slave with a time limit) during work hours and I had to do anything he told me too, and he was being courteous by asking. I then told him this was my two weeks notice, he was lucky to be getting that, and he could hire himself the personal assistant he wanted, who could also run sound and light boards, while he was doing his Christmas shopping.

The only thing I've ever regretted is not getting out of that toxic environment before things got that bad.
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On_Headset

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #8 on: Feb 21, 2013, 02:57 pm »
I joined a project in week 3 of rehearsals. (They'd scheduled 6.)

During my first week, half the production team quit, reporting the producer's cheques were bouncing. On Thursday, building management refused to admit us to the facility until the producer paid them in cash. Then the production manager quit, and I was temporarily made responsible for show correspondence, whereupon I learned that the cheque paid to the author had also bounced, and that my predecessor had also left due to not getting paid.

I left on the Friday. During our telephone conversation, the producer admitted there were "cash flow problems", but offered to pay me out of the box office, plus 5% of the profit off the show. Just as soon as the theatre opens, I'd get all my salary and more.

I promised to think about it and hung up, and was working for someone else by the end of the month.

I hasten to add that the show never opened.
« Last Edit: Feb 21, 2013, 03:58 pm by On_Headset »

MatthewShiner

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #9 on: Feb 21, 2013, 04:18 pm »
Stage Managers quit - it's a fact of life.

Although many of us have super high levels of commitment and some sort of dedication above and beyond what is required of many jobs, this is a job - and if the job isn't doing what a job needs to do for you (pay, career growth, keeping you occupied 40+ hours a week), then you need to consider saying good bye to the job.

There will be other jobs. 

And you may want to leave that one as well.

Is funny, most stage managers would never think of quitting a show, or calling in sick, or asking for time off - until you get on a long running gig, and especially a long running commercial gig, when you are three years into a show (or longer) you realize the show indeed goes on, and you can leave - for a day, a week, or forever. Part of being a good stage manager means making sure the show can transition and continue when you leave for a day, a week or forever.

NOW . . . there are exit strategies to consider - don't burn bridges, make sure you have a trajectory on where to leap to next, and make sure it isn't a rash reaction to one bad day.

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Anything posted here as in my own personal opinion, and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of my employer - whomever they be at a given moment in time.

dallas10086

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #10 on: Feb 21, 2013, 04:35 pm »
The only thing I've ever regretted is not getting out of that toxic environment before things got that bad.

This might be the worst story I've heard all week.


Stage Managers quit - it's a fact of life.

Due to the nature of the typical personalities that tend to gravitate towards stage management, I find that quitting jobs isn't discussed without some trepidation, whereas if someone was in the same toxic environment in the corporate world, they may have quit sooner and been proud of it. I think it's our nature to stick it out for as long as possible because of the small world we work in.

FormerSM

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #11 on: Feb 21, 2013, 05:41 pm »
Hi,

I am a former stage manager. I worked at the University and community level for several years and have my Bachelors in design and production. I understand wanting to walk out on a show because I have walked out on the profession all together. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made, as I loved my work, however I still believe it was the right one for me.

I now am trying to make a career change and wondered if any one has any suggestions on careers where I could effectively transition my skills or any advice on how to market yourself after stage life.

Sincerely lost without a cue sheet,

-FormerSM 

MatthewShiner

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #12 on: Feb 21, 2013, 05:53 pm »
Quote
Due to the nature of the typical personalities that tend to gravitate towards stage management, I find that quitting jobs isn't discussed without some trepidation, whereas if someone was in the same toxic environment in the corporate world, they may have quit sooner and been proud of it. I think it's our nature to stick it out for as long as possible because of the small world we work in.

I think part of the problem is a producer-centric world where stage managers may often be asked to perform above and beyond the call of duty, with little support, and times little pay - and continue the mentality that if you quit "You will never work in this town again!" - regardless of how toxic the work environment is.

Silly, huh?  Maybe if more people quit these terrible jobs, producers would understand the cause of the toxic environment is not bad stage managers, but the other causes.
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BARussell

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #13 on: Feb 22, 2013, 01:17 pm »
Quote
Due to the nature of the typical personalities that tend to gravitate towards stage management, I find that quitting jobs isn't discussed without some trepidation, whereas if someone was in the same toxic environment in the corporate world, they may have quit sooner and been proud of it. I think it's our nature to stick it out for as long as possible because of the small world we work in.

I think part of the problem is a producer-centric world where stage managers may often be asked to perform above and beyond the call of duty, with little support, and times little pay - and continue the mentality that if you quit "You will never work in this town again!" - regardless of how toxic the work environment is.

Silly, huh?  Maybe if more people quit these terrible jobs, producers would understand the cause of the toxic environment is not bad stage managers, but the other causes.


I think some of it is ingrained in us through our training and experiences, We are told to put up with tough personalities, deal with people yelling at you for things that aren't your fault,  work for low pay at really inconvenient times, travel away from friends and family, start from the ground floor and work your way up, put in the hours that are necessary to complete the work (which for us  means to make it perfect) which is never just 40 hours.

 We are never told what "isn't" our job, when it is too much, when you should say no, when the experience that was great for someone else might not necessarily work for you. That's the stuff I fear everyone learns the hard way.
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MatthewShiner

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Re: "I quit!"
« Reply #14 on: Feb 22, 2013, 03:00 pm »
Quote
I think some of it is ingrained in us through our training and experiences, We are told to put up with tough personalities, deal with people yelling at you for things that aren't your fault,  work for low pay at really inconvenient times, travel away from friends and family, start from the ground floor and work your way up, put in the hours that are necessary to complete the work (which for us  means to make it perfect) which is never just 40 hours.


These are all parts of our jobs, up to a point - and that point is different for each and everyone of us. Once it reaches that point, everyone needs to understand that this is a job - and people quit jobs all the time.  But, let's remember, we are free lance employees, so much sure you are quitting for the right reasons - you don't want to be know as a stage manager who drops a show on every whim.
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Anything posted here as in my own personal opinion, and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of my employer - whomever they be at a given moment in time.