Asking questions is a good thing! Just an intruductory "What do you like your stage managers to do for you?" can get you started down the conversastional track. Talk about what you've done for other directors, something like "So-and-so liked me to do this, what would you like?" That can include everything from notes to breaks, to room arrangement, etc. You can either make several meetings with them, first to talk about rehearsal, then as you get nearer to tech, etc. if you're nervous about sitting down with a new person at first. Find out how they like their rehearsals run, rehearse for a week, and then approach with "How do you do tech?". Or sometimes that first meeting will get you all the way through to the end of the production.
For me, I always find that approaching them to find out how they like to work is a good way to make a first impression. Think about everythink you've done for previous directors, and start there. Do they want you to stop them when its break time? How/when do they want notes posted? Etc.
-Centaura