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« on: Feb 13, 2015, 04:53 pm »
I will be the first to admit that I have had a very fortunate career. I've been privileged to work with brilliant directors on projects that I feel passionately about within companies for which I feel a strong affinity. However, my career has hit a major snag and I'm having trouble holding on to that gratitude.
In chasing my dreams and jumping at opportunities, I feel now that I've boxed myself in. It's been almost a decade since I've lacked at least two future jobs lined up, and I'm back in that boat now. But the difference is that now I'm tied to a geographic location that makes it hard for regional theaters to hire me, because most of them want to put their housing budget for the benefit of the performers onstage, not backstage for the stage managers.
So I think I'm very skilled, but finding an opening for an out-of-town SM is like finding dry land after a shipwreck, and sending out a cold resume in response to a job listing feels like sending a rescue message in a bottle. I feel like I've exhausted my personal network. Maybe the hooks I've sent out over the last couple of months will get some nibbles, but most likely not. I'm beginning to wonder if I should slide sideways to production management or something. For the very first time in my professional career, I'm worried about fulfilling my health weeks.
I keep telling myself that this is the exact same thing that other stage managers face all the time, and that I myself used to know how to hustle work without getting discouraged, but that's not helping me in this moment. A decade ago, my daughter had not yet been born, my wife had built a profitable career in a major market, and my in-laws were entirely self-sufficient. Now, we need daily to secure the health and quality of life for my in-laws, my wife has fewer opportunities and a lower income range, and my daughter needs the best opportunities we can provide her. But more than all of that, I want to be a real part of my daughter's life, and even if job opportunities arise for me, it's going to kill me to spend half the year or more apart from her.
I guess all I can do is keep plugging away at the job search, and be grateful that I now live in a time when searches are facilitated by internet connections, and interviews can be done via Skype. I need to reconnect to the faith that connections will be made, that my own ability and experience will carry me forward, and that the path I'm currently on will lead to good things. In the meantime, I'll hold on to my clear conscience and the blanket support of the people who love me.
Thanks for listening.