Yesterday was our first dress rehearsal. She only had 1 note for me on the timing of a cue. Tonight, she yelled at me, after yelling at our technical director for something stupid, because apparently I have been missing the opening couple light cue timings every single time. However, this was the first time I have heard of it. Mainly, I suppose I just had to vent, but has anyone else ever been in a situation like this? Any advice. Thanks.
Fortunately, NO, I haven't been blessed with this particular challenge--though I did have an ASM who was nearly the death of my first show--but it sounds like you have plenty to vent about.
Advice? Breathe. Just Breathe. Sounds like you've been able to pinpoint a large part of her motivation for the behavior. Add to it Fear of Failure, need to Look Good, perhaps because she's out of her comfort zone, and try not to absorb her negative attitudes or let them jade you. You aren't in a position to change her, so about all you can do is detach your emotional self from the equation. Don't take anything personally. Do your best and do it cheerfully. Don't bother to try to defend yourself when you find out she thinks you've been missing the cue all along. Take the note and say "Thank You." People around you in an educational setting are watching to see how you handle the situation, and more important, actually, than ever getting the cue, how you handle the challenge of working with a difficult director. People who will eventually be asked to give you references and recommendations will look back and say, "He works well under pressure."
Remember, too, that your attitude about the director will carry through to the cast and crew, even if you never say a negative word about her. You can't just pretend to like her. It goes deeper than that. I like the advice "accept what I cannot change, change what I can, recognize the difference".