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« on: Oct 15, 2012, 10:33 pm »
Julie, I went back and lurked through your posts a bit. If I'm reading correctly you had to choose between an ASM gig with a large house that paid more, and a PSM gig with a summer festival. I wouldn't stress too much about not hearing from the summer festival peeps - I'm guessing they're not in hiring mode. Stay in communication with them through social media - just an occasional "like" or comment might be enough. Don't go overboard or do anything ridiculously controversial, just keep your name in front of them. That goes for the other companies you turned down for other reasons, too. Keep the communication lines open.
I'm sensing we're a bit alike in that neither of us is fond of closure. I see you still worry about the repercussions of your decision from late spring. I think before we get to how to gently friendzone an employer, it's important for you personally to learn to put your past decisions to bed once they've been made. Once you make a decision on a gig you need to commit to that gig wholeheartedly and pursue every avenue that it opens for you. If you're like me, it's tough to do this - there's always a "grass is always greener" aspect to things. But once you've made the decision, especially if you've pondered it so heavily, don't sabotage your chances by doubting yourself through the entire experience.
The other thing to remember is that given what you've said about your environment, you are not the only stage manager in your vicinity. If they ask if you're available, they're probably asking several other people too. Unless a member of the creative team has asked for you by name, you're not actually letting anyone down or breaking their hearts. Even though I lightly tossed the friendzone term around above, this isn't dating. It's a job.
As for when to stop looking, this part ought to actually appeal to the part of you that can go on forever without closure. You don't stop looking. As the article from last week about "Rebecca" told us, even in the case of a signed contract, stuff happens. If you are freelancing you are always looking for your next gig, always networking. Now, as for when you can reasonably consider your calendar to be full for the next few weeks? That would be when the contract is signed by both sides and in your hands, and not a moment before.
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