LJO
I'm as speechless as thehayworth...
First of all... you are never evER EVER out of line asking for professional people to act in a professional matter, from what you've posted you've crossed no lines and you've done NOTHING wrong.
The person at fault here is the director. He left you high and dry by not at least requiring a modicum of respect. He created the environment that you're living with right now, not you. He set you up, so don't for a second think that you're wrong.
That being said... a cast meeting might be the best thing (if you can get them all there on time) be ready to listen to problems... but open it with a speech, it might sound corney but something along the lines of (shamelessly paraphrased from The West Wing)
"We're a group. We're a team. We win together, we lose together. We celebrate and we mourn together. And defeats are softened and victories are sweeter because we did them together. . . . You're my guys and I'm yours --- and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. When I ask you to keep me in the loop, when I ask you let me know what's going on it's not because I'm trying to boss you, it's because I'm a member of this team to, and it's information I need. I'm not asking you to like me, or even agree with me, but I'm asking you to work with me, I'm asking you to give me the respect as a professional that I've given to you. In the end... the show is what counts, and theres no one in this room that doesn't benefit if the show runs smoothly."
Something along those lines.... might get you laughed at... but it might work too... if not then I have another West Wing Quote
"Set fire to the room... do it quickly"

Seriously though... you're not not the problem here... dont' take it personally, chalk it up to the wack job director. You're doing anything wrong.