Wow... typing all of this has made me realize that 1- I need to stop dating actors, and 2- I need to go out and make some friends who aren't in theatre!
I agree with #1 and #2! I made it a rule of thumb to not date anyone in the industry. I didn't have this personal policy in high school and had terrible, horrible, no good very bad relationships with some of the tech crew girls (I was an actor at the time). After each of those relationships crashed and burned and subsequently made performing a real chore and awkward (nothing quite like kissing a girl onstage while your ex glares at you from the wings with a crow bar in hand), I decided to not date
anyone in theater ever!
In general, work place romances are a huge no-no. Being able to compartmentalize or not, I still don't think it's something an SM should do. Especially being middle management with problem solving and mediator as part of the job description.
Great example: I was working with a stage manager who was dating an actress (chorus girl) who got into a huge verbal/nearly physical altercation with another chorus girl. I knew the entire sordid history between the two girls (this whole weird jealousy/anger thing had been brewing for two weeks), saw the entire fight from start to finish, was the one who eventually separated the two, and when I reported everything I knew about the fight to the SM so it could be dealt with, he took his girlfriend's side and reported it to the producer as he interpreted it. It alienated the entire cast from the SM and this chorus girl because everyone knew the SM's girlfriend was in the wrong. The cast sent an "anonymous" letter explaining what happened, I got pulled into the office to tell my side of the story to the producers and the entire company was put on edge because the SM was dating an actor. Thankfully, it was summer stock and there was only one week left before the cast was shipped out for a new one.
While I admit it was really difficult in the past to maintain my personal code (Cause who can honestly choose who they are attracted to?), it's generally better to keep those feelings to yourself until the show is over. (Getting engaged has helped me get over those feelings of l'amour for cast members and colleagues.)
But like others have said, you're in high school. And it can't be possible for
everyone to be so jealous they would threaten you with a crow bar, right?....