Marcie,
This is the tough conundrum of living in NYC. You can't afford to live here on a theatrical salary, unless you're doing Production or Commercial Off-Broadway contracts constantly, so you have to have a day job, which in turn keeps you from doing theatrical work. Though you may find the occasional sympathetic employer, it is the exception rather than the rule. The hard truth is that it is their right to hire an employee who can do the job full time. I've found that when exceptions are made, they are generally made for an actor that the Director or Producer just HAS to have in the show. SM's rarely get the same consideration, it's true.
You are juggling something actors and SM's have juggled here in NYC forever. The question becomes "What am I here to do?" And sometimes you have to make very difficult or risky decisions to support your choice. It's easier in other cities. The cost of living/rent is high here. In other places one MIGHT be able to take a low paying theatre job full time. I have SM friends in other cities working full time in theatre and making ends meet on one SPT after another, and they are perfectly happy, working all the time for this lower rate.
This is a hard reality check, and I'm sure it's not making you feel a lot better. And I'm, sorry about that. But you do say "I've worked very had this past year to make some headway and finally I am beginning to, and then this." You ARE making headway, and there WILL be another offer down the line. Take this time to think of your priorities and make some kind of plan for how you are going to handle the next job offer that you really can't afford to quit your day job for!
Please feel free to PM me, if you wish!
Ruth
I'm sure I'm not the only one to have to deal with this, but it's the first time it's happened to me and I am sad, angry, disappointed, etc:
I was asked by a friend to ASM an off-Bway show with her as the SM. I was excited, she was excited. There was excitement.
I spoke with my superiors at my day job about this, and they were willing to keep me on salary (!!!) if I could commit to 1 weekday in the office and 2 evenings after rehearsal. Amazing. It turns out that the director wants a Sunday's off schedule for rehearsal, which would mean that the Monday I would plan on coming into the office is now a missed day of rehearsal. (Not to mention conflicts with actors going to auditions, etc.) The SM pleaded her case, and mine. She finally got the director to agree that one day a week was ok since he wasn't going to change the day off, as long as my friend, the SM was ok with this. Which she was.
Cut to today: My friend emails me saying that at the pre-pro meeting today, the PRODUCERS decided that despite the director and the sm's support, it was entirely necessary for the ASM to be at every rehearsal. This was not a money issue. I actually offered to take a 1/6 pay cut or find a replacement for those 3 days.
ARGH. I'm just so ANGRY. I've worked very had this past year to make some headway and finally I am beginning to, and then this. The most annoying thing is that the contract doesn't pay enough to just take a leave of absence from my day job, and having just spent a lot of money moving (I had no furniture coming to NY) I can't afford to not have the income.
I think what bothers me the most is that my day job, which has absolutely nothing do to with theatre was willing to give me 4 days a week off to pursue this opportunity, and the theatre company wasn't willing to give me 1.
Grr.
End rant.