This is a bit abnormal of a situation. Normally our Dear Abby posts are initiated by our members who wish to remain anonymous, by requesting that a moderator open a discussion on their behalf. In this case, a thread was opened by a member and then retracted.
One of our novice members recently posted a thread about working with gay students for the first time in a high school's drama club. However, as this individual posts to SMNetwork using their real name, they subsequently requested that the thread be pulled down, either out of embarrassment or fear.
It is my belief that the discussion had not yet run its course and that its subject matter is absolutely vital to have here for future SMs who might be in the same situation.
Yomanda removed the thread but archived the text (and its two replies) in our moderator area. With apologies to the original poster, I'm going to recreate the thread here with their name removed and their original post edited a little for clarity. Please treat it like you would any other Dear Abby thread.
Original Post:
It seems as though with the topics of gay marriage etc....more and more students are coming out as being gay. How does one deal with a situation with a gay teen in the cast with only two dressing rooms? It is also making some other cast members uncomfortable (possibly because of the complete foreignness of this situation) and we do have several very young cast members who don't even know what being gay means.
It was brought to my attention by one of the students in the current cast that the current situation regarding dressing rooms was rather awkward during our last show and did not elaborate. How should this situation be dealt with? How does one typically divide dressing rooms with gay casts? Do special arrangements need to be made in a situation like this? Also, is calling it "gay" even the correct word? Or is there a more politically correct reference?
I live in a very small conservative town, and quite frankly I have never met a young person like this before and know that the situation is extremely delicate. Thanks.
MatthewShiner responded:
Dressing rooms are divided between Male and Female, regardless of the sexual orientation. You often will put minors in different dressing room then adults. It tends not to be a big problem when you move into the professional theater world - as usually, given the diversity of the artistic community - they are either comfortable around the diversity or have learned coping mechanisms.
I think you just treat them as a cast member . . . and expect everyone to deal with them as a cast member. If there is deep rooted homophobia in you cast / theater group, then you have a big problem to solve. Hopefully, people can move past it and deal with people as human beings.
Now, if the gay performer is doing something unacceptable in the dressing room, then behavior should change. But if other people just feel uncomfortable because the person next to them identifies as "gay', then that maybe something for them to work on.
Best of luck in a very difficult situation.
Tempest responded:
I am 100% with Matthew. You need to treat your gay cast member just like any other cast member. Because they are just like any other cast member. In regards to working with minors, you need to treat the gay cast member just like you would any other cast member. Because they are just like any other cast member. (Homosexual does not equal pedophile! Where do people even get that idea?!)
As far as the kids not understand what "gay is," it doesn't matter. Everyone's just there to put on a show, so keep the focus on that. Really, kids tend to be far more accepting of "different" people than adults are, unless they've been specifically taught otherwise.
I also agree with Matthew's discussion of other people feeling uncomfortable just because the person at the next mirror is gay. That is their problem, and one they'd better deal with quickly if they intend to keep working in the arts, or really, go out into the world at all.
What really concerns me is your description of it being such a small, such a conservative town that you've never even met a gay person before (really, truly, please just treat them like everyone else!). If your cast member came out of the closet recently, they're probably feeling very nervous and on edge. Or they may be susceptible to bullying, especially if it's socially acceptable to harass homosexuals in your community. You might want to keep a weather eye out for them, and know what to do and who to go to if that's an issue. Young people have committed suicide in those situations; someone else stepping in and saying, "It's not okay to treat people like that," whether it's you or someone else, could save a life.
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