I recently just closed a show with a bad ASM. She was an ASM before but didn't know anything even the basics of word or excel. I showed her some things and it helped a little.
I like to general gist of your post, but i find it hilarious that you define a bad ASM as one who doesn't know the basics of Word or Excel...
I would rate those skill sets as probably the least important for an ASM, well under the ability to pay attention and follow book, take blocking, handle preset, take attendenace, organize props, shop for props, post signs using a magic marker and scrap paper, drive a car, handle and filter actor needs, move quietly backstage, use a glue gun, run a photocopier, collate, staple, etc., etc., etc. Oh yes, did I mention pay attention in rehearsal to what is happening in rehearsal?
Since the primary purpose of Excel is a Spreadsheet (and all other uses of it are software abuse -- using a spreadsheet as a word processeor is like using a wrench as a hammer), I can imagine one might function nicely as an ASM for oh, say 50 or 60 years without knowing excel.
Give me someone who knows how to organize using a yellow legal pad and a pen and pencil set over any computer literacy anytime.