Thanks Matthew!
I had a feeling that this was really a matter of hurt feelings, and not a rule being broken. Many of these actors are quite young (and while no offense is meant on my part) I think that certain things were taken to heart in a way that should have been. I remember myself in that position 6 years ago, and so I sympathize with her hurt feelings.
Now without a rehearsal call, or a posted notes session, the actor could easily say, "I don't have time time to listen to notes now", and politely walk out of the theatre - but that can a sticky situation. I find that a director who gives notes or changes things is sort of being passive aggressive - in that by just giving notes without the benefit of conversation and/or rehearsal is taking away the option of an actor responding as an artist and belittles the rehearsal process.
I agree completely, and this particular director is a full-time professor as well. Not to belittle academia, after all, where would we all be without our education, but I think that because this actor is only 2 years out of school that this director was using a little bit of her power as a teacher in this case.
It's a sensitive situation, and I thought that I handled it well under the circumstance, and I appreciate the confirmation and clarification!