Should I quit my day job?

[Tempest]

Hey, guys.  It's heavy duty, life changing, advice time.  I have a pretty spiffin' day job working at the local arts center, in the box office.  I've had this job for about 3 years.  So far, the hours (and my manager) have been wonderfully flexible enough to let me do, pretty much, as much work as I would like as a stage manager.  I could usually squeeze in about twenty hours a week at the day job, in addition to rehearsals and performances, and I could take a few months off SMing if I got too exhausted, but still make (barely) sufficient pay to get my bills paid.

I just got the rehearsal schedule for the new show, and for some reason, this theatre, which I've worked for several times before, has REALLY ramped up its rehearsal hours.  It also moved them from morning or evening, which I could work around, smack into the middle of the day.  Pretty much the only day I'm going to be able to work my day job, at least until we get into performances, is Monday, EDO.  I'm not sure my day job is willing to be that flexible.  We'll see, I'm going to call my manager first thing tomorrow morning, but I want to have a idea of what I should do BEFORE I talk to her.

The advice I need is, should I bother to try and work just one day a week, or talk them into a six week “leave of absence?”  Or, should I take this as a cosmic kick in the pants, take the Equity card they're going to offer me, and dive head-first into free-lancing completely?  I realize that you can't know my entire situation or tell me what to do with my life, but I'm looking for a “what would you do in this situation?” discussion to help me find thoughts I might not even have on my own.  A few bullet points about my situation:

*I'm 27 years old.  I've been working in professional theatres as a carpenter, stitcher and electrician since I was 16, stage managing for school and community shows since I was 15, and stage managing professionally since I was 20.

*I am married with no kids, but a very clingy husband, who isn't delighted about me possibly working out of town for long stints, but promises to support me in my career as much as he can.  His income alone cannot pay both our bills.

*I was planning on taking this step, eventually.  I'm sort of excited about the possibility, but not thrilled about having it forced on me.

*I have an hour long commute, both to the theatre, and to my day job.  Luckily, they're only about fifteen minutes apart.  Moving is not an option.

*I have about $4500 in credit card debt from repairs to my old car, and emergency home repairs.  I was going to wait to go completely free-lance until I paid it off, so I could make do on very low pay, if necessary.  Right now, I need to make  just under $400 a week to stay afloat on all my bills.  If that were paid off, it would be much closer to $300.

*I LIKE my day job and the people I work with there.

This all may be moot, as my manager might say, “We can't be that flexible.”  Then I've just got to hold my breath and jump!  I will quit the day job, if that's the only option; my career comes before my job.  I'm wondering if I shouldn't just quit, anyway.

So, what would you do, and why?  Help me examine this thing from all angles.

[MatthewShiner]

Interesting, you didn't mention passing on the stage management job to stick with the day job.

Are you looking to do theatre as your full time job?  Specifically, stage management?

Eventually there comes up a point when you need to make a decision if you are going to do this, stage management, full time or not, and this is the decision you need to make.  If you make the decision to ONLY make you income from stage management, then you will start making some decisions about what sort of jobs you make.

Some questions to ask back to you?

1) Do you live in an community that can support you as an AEA SM?  (The hour commute makes me wonder a bit.)  If you can't work locally and make a living, then you will have to travel.

2) I don't think you age matter, you need to look at the experience you have and how marketable you are against all the other stage managers in the country.  See, the thing is - if you can work locally and succeed at that, you are at asset to local AEA theaters - they don't have to house an out of town SM.  If you have to work "out of town"  then you are competing with every other SM out there (Broadway level on down.)

3) I think the major thing is you need to discuss this with your husband.  Being a stage manager caused my divorce - it still causes no end of strife at home with my current partner. 

4) It seems like your $400 nut a week is not that bad - I wish mine was as small - but how much is the SM position offering?  Do you think you can average $400.00 a week over 52 weeks? 

My suggestion ask if you can take the leave of absence, as you are missing a huge piece of information.

You may need to pass on the SM job. 

You should either do this a job, and it needs to pay your bills, or you need to do it as a hobby, and it can interfere with the job that pay the bills.

[javnine]

I would offer the two options to the day job, and see if they will accept either of them.  If not, I would stage manage, and hope I could either make it freelancing, or find another day job to fill the gaps.

[sarahbear42]

I don't really have much advice, but I sympathize-- I too have a husband who sometimes has difficulty "getting" the things we have to do to be in theater. There are a lot of big compromises that have to be made, and it's not fun. Not that it would be fun even if you were single, but having that extra person there/the possibility of strain on the relationship is a tough extra variable.

[Tempest]

Let's see:

Stage managing is my career, very much not a hobby.  Right now, it's a slow career, but it is what I went to school for, and it is what I love doing.  The day job is just to "fill in the gaps" between gigs, which are occsionally large gaps.  Mostly, they're large gaps because I know I have a saftey net, so to speak, and I don't have to be as ambitious and agressive about getting work.  I wanted to keep that saftey net until my debt is paid down, but this "situation" may perhaps be the universe telling me that it's time to "work without a net."  I'm confident that I can do it.  But I'll be completely honest.  Taking that first step is SCARY.
I can't skip out on the show to do my day job, I've already signed a contract, and I like working with this theatre.  I would never leave them in the lurch like that, as rehearsals begin in about three weeks.
The community might be able to support me as a AEA SM (I don't know what the saturation level of EQUITY SMs are in this town) but I don't mind traveling, as well.  In fact, I'd like to travel or tour.  The long commute is simply because my husband already owned a house when we got married, WELL outside of town.  We both commute daily until we can manage to move closer (in this housing market, yeah right.)  Also, if the money is right, we don't mind relocating, down the road, if a permanent position comes up.  My husband and I have already discussed a great many things that may/could/should/might happen.
The show I'm going into is paying enough to keep me afloat, on it's own, at least for the length of the production.  And I'm pretty sure I could make equivalent pay elsewhere.  I've learned my lesson about taking low-paying gigs.  Not again!  No false modesty, I am good at my job, and I know what I'm worth.

I sort of want to take that leap of faith.  I had planned to.  Just not yet.

[MatthewShiner]

It's amazing what your career will do and what you will do for your career if you make the decision ONLY to make money by stage managing.

When you give yourself the option of a day job, it often slows your career down.

Best of luck on your decision.

[pantherh]

I sympathize with your situation as I am in a similar place with regards to staying with the career I have worked on for years which stalled, but now might be picking up again or taking a great opportunity to switch gears.  It sounds corny, but I'm leaving it to fate.  If I get the job which would allow for the switch, it was meant to be, if I don't I'll continue on the old path.  Perhaps this is over simplifying it and wimping out of making an actual decision, but since I change my mind every day about what to do, I'm going with it. 

My suggestion is this, imagine it's five years from now and you're looking back on your life, which decision do you think you'll regret most?  I know it's impossible to predict what will happen, but imagine the worst case scenario for each decision, which one would you rather live with?

Someone said this to me the other day while discussing what to do: "You can't go back to somewhere you never left."  It's been in my head ever since.  Best of luck you!

[Tempest]

Here's a quick update on my situation.  I decided to ask for the leave of absence.  I can always quit later (in perhaps a slightly better economy, even!)
I just called my manager about possibly getting a six week leave of absence for the rehearsal period.  She's going to poke and ask around and see what she can do for me.  She's very sweet; since I was sick yesterday, as soon as I asked about a leave of absence, she immediately got concerned, "Are you okay, sweetie?!"

I told her that I don't have any choice: if I can't get a leave of absence, I HAVE to quit.  I don't want to leave, but I will.  My career comes first.  She was very understanding.  I think she'll come through for me.  She just has to talk to her boss, and who knows who else.

It was very nerve wracking, though.  I don't deal with disappointing other people's expectations (i.e. that I will always be availibel to work the box office) well.  The phone call was difficult.  Waiting is actually not as bad.  Still, I want to go running, but it's 100 degrees out there.  Yoga time, I think. 
I'll keep everyone posted with the result.  Thanks for everyone's advice.

Edited To Add:  Leave of Absence has been granted.  I'll be able to keep the "net" until my debt is gone.  YAY.  I find myself slightly disapointed, though.  I know I'm going to start this grand adventure in a year or two, but it was a breathtaking possibility to be forced into it before I was ready.

[LCSM]

I'm glad it all worked out for you! I know that feeling of disappointment you get when you've talked yourself into being excited about something and it doesn't end up happening. But all in the right time. Enjoy your new job!

[jempage]

Still, I want to go running, but it's 100 degrees out there.  Yoga time, I think. 

At the very least, it sounds like you know how to cope with the stress!