Dear Abby: ASM/PSM serious personality clashes (and a bad SM to boot!)

[loebtmc]

This was submitted by a professional member who wishes to remain anonymous.

Dear Abby:

I recently finished ASMing a project with a PSM that I absolutely did not get along with. I've actually never been so insulted and disrespected, both personally and professionally, by another person in my life. This feeling was also echoed by the actors that we were working with - so it wasn't just me. In fact, and I've never said this about anyone I've ever worked with (EVER), I'd go so far as to say that they are just a terrible SM in all aspects of their job. We travel in sort of the same professional circle outside of this project, and I feel very confident that I am not alone in feeling this way about this person. While they've never been fired from a job (that I know of) they've definitely never been asked back by the same company after working there once. I also know for a fact that they are completely unaware that their peers feel this way about them. They honestly and truly think they do their job amazingly well, at all times, and have no need to learn or grow from any experience.

I offer that as a small insight to a situation that I worry I'm about to be thrust into: I have two fairly important interviews in the next few days with companies that I know this person has worked with in the past. I'm concerned my potential connection to this person will be brought up casually during the course of these interviews and I am looking for advice on what to say if it comes up. I don't want to launch in to any sort of "Oh yes, John Smith and I did work together but have very different approaches and philosophies," because I don't want it to it to seem like I'm trying to talk around badmouthing someone, but I also don't think that "Yes we did" will be a sufficient response. One could argue that because they no longer work with these companies that it's ok to say something like the former, but I am of the mindset that you never badmouth anyone you've worked with unless you feel it absolutely necessary, and this is not the case here. In our time together, one's safety was in danger (because I was running the deck - the one time they tried to 'help' with a preset it was done completely wrong), no major union rules were broken (but they would have been had I not said something to this person in private), it's just that they're bad at their job and treat people absolutely terribly. I do want to make it clear that I do not share their work style, though I hope that apparent by my interview itself.

So...how do I delicately extricate myself should this come up?   

[nick_tochelli]

I'm of the mind that most people don't associate coworkers as a unit. Now if you've worked with this person repeatedly then the question may arise about styles. If this was a one off gig and you just happened to work with someone the company dislikes, that probably won't reflect on you.

If they ask, take the high road. If you're pressed don't "make news". Start with the "yes we did" answer and if they keep going move on to the different philosophies and styles. Mention how you like to work and use that as an opportunity to sell yourself vs. trashing this SM. That's the best way to remove this SM from the conversation is to sell yourself on your qualities, without even bringing up the SMs short comings. 

Even if it comes up in passing like "oh...so I see you worked with John Smith. How'd that go for you?" A simple "there were some challenges, but we were able to work through them together"is as tactful a way to get the point across and they'll supply the subtext all on their own.

[MatthewShiner]

I don't to assist a lot, but I do work with some difficult directors, and I always get questions like . . . "how was it t work with . . . " and I know there is a little bit of baiting.  For those who don't know me in real life, I am VERY opinionated, but even for the most "difficult" director, I am able to do the art of the spin - and that is part of management. 

If you have strong opinion about this working relationship . . . and don't feel comfortable asking about it . . . drop the show from your resume.    If they still know or ask,the be prepared with the most politic answer you can.

Some times it's not about WHAT you say, but how you say it - and a PM/GM/SM is interest to see how you answer a difficult question - that's why we ask questions like "tell me about your weaknesses", "tell me about you situation where you felt you could have done better", "what was your worst stage management experience" - yes, what you chose to answer is interesting . . . but HOW you answer is more interesting.

In your case, you can focus how two people with different styles worked together - where were the success - what did you learn from the failures . . . not every production is all sunshine and lollipops . . .