I really feel for you. I'm so sorry you are going through a rough time now.
It is totally understandable to have an emotional response to today's down market realities. Especially for people who work in theatre and other professions where we really give our hearts in our work. I hope you can come to terms with the fact that the company did not dismiss you for personal reasons - it's strictly business. You know you're still an excellent SM, and they do to. When things are back on track, I hope a good relationship can still be there.
If you've never gone through a period of unemployment as an SM, then good for you! You have been lucky. Even the best SMs go through downtime, especially early in their careers. And lots of great SMs will be out of work in the next few years. Having gone through periods (mostly short, thankfully) without steady work, I just want to give you a few pieces of advice:
- Stay busy, and stay on a schedule. Whether you get temp work, wait tables, or work at a coffee shop, get something to do most days. If you can't get part time work, volunteer. This is a great time to give back to our communities, and there is certainly need in so many areas. But the bottom line is, keep a bit of a schedule or else you'll go out of your mind. Even setting a firm time for household chores is a good first step.
- Keep track of your finances, but not to the penny. Reconsider expenses so you aren't in too much debt later. Maybe it's time to take a roommate. Maybe you could do without your gym membership. Evaluate your cash and your savings and keep yourself on a budget roadmap. It is important to live your life, to buy treats for yourself, and not to torture yourself counting every penny. But have the big picture clearly in your head.
- Job search as a part-time job. Spend structured time each day looking for jobs. But I personally recommend spending no more than four hours a day on job searching if you are fully unemployed. You'll drive yourself crazy and feel really hopeless after about two weeks. Spend a serious bit of time on it each day, and then go do other things. Spend time networking, too, at least once a week and much more if possible. This will often lead to jobs more quickly than sending out cold resumes.
- Take time to do what makes you happy. See your without-work spell as a gift. Go on a trip you've always wanted to take. Visit family. Do something creative you never had time to do - paint, write, go for long runs. Seize the moment and use it to grow your spirit. You'll look back on this time as a great opportunity instead of a black hole. To me, the most challenging part of being unemployed is dealing with the self-esteem issues that come up. It is essential to stay positive.
As others have said, this will pass. You will be hired again and you will work on fabulous shows. But this is a really challenging time for the national economy, and the arts are getting hit extremely hard. We will not be out of the woods for a while yet.