Author Topic: Was I out of Line?  (Read 4918 times)

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salbano

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Was I out of Line?
« on: Apr 22, 2014, 12:32 am »
So right now I'm stage managing a completely improvised play for my college. [I'm an alumn that graduate last year.] (It's like a long form improv show, but it has a set, lights, a musician, and all of that. Basically, if you didn't know it was an improv show and walked in ten minutes late, you'd think it was a play.)

Anyway, I'm also operating lights for the show. So in addition to being a stage manager, I'm the light board operator.

Now, we're still in rehearsals, and tonight we did a run of the show. It was decent. Whatever.

After the run, the director wanted to work on some stuff with the actors. And we did stuff. And it was fine.

Then this happens. Stage is dark. I put light USL. Actor starts walking USL, then decides to go USR. I then fade out USL and put light USR. Then actor decides to go back USL, so I switched again. (Fine, that happens. It's improv. That happens.) Then the director makes a comment about this to the actor. Then the actor says, "I was just pacing waiting for the music, I was still going to stay USL. I didn't need the USR lights."

I respond, immediately and slightly sarcastically, "Well, if you didn't keep on missing your lights during the run, I wouldn't have thought you missed this one."

The director says out loud to me, "Remember he's a student."

And that's the situation that I'm talking about. Nothing too big. Nothing awful, but the director saying that to me made me feel really crappy for a lot of reasons.

Because even if I said my comment more sarcastically than what I remembered, I still think it was a valid criticism. I wasn't making up that he missed lights during the run. And I do have a sarcastic personality, that's kind of my thing.

I don't know. I just needed to vent. Thanks!

loebtmc

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #1 on: Apr 22, 2014, 01:11 am »
One of the hardest things for those with sharp tongues is learning to not use them. Our job includes keeping our traps shut. Especially with things that don't concern us.

You say you have a sarcastic bent; these students don't know that, and especially with improv, where they are learning to be completely in the moment, they can easily misinterpret what they hear and take it personally.

Unless there is dire need, like a safety concern, there is no reason to interrupt for any reason with what is actually directorial and not your job.

KMC

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #2 on: Apr 22, 2014, 08:29 am »
Loebmtc makes some great points.  From my side, given the tone of your post "Fine, that happens..." I am wondering what you were expecting - it's improv... in an educational setting... in rehearsals.  That's where these kinds of things get sussed out.  The nature of improv combined with folks who are still learning is going to make for some situations like this, and it's important to keep the rehearsal environment one where people can explore and make mistakes without fear of being lashed out at.

So yes, I think you were out of line with the comment, but as you said it's not the end of the world.  You won't find anyone here who hasn't been out of line once or twice in their career.  The important thing is to realize when you are and recover appropriately, apologize, etc...

If you just need to vent - by all means have at it.  I'm sure you will find some sympathetic ears here, and maybe you can even write a haiku.

Good luck.
« Last Edit: Apr 22, 2014, 08:31 am by KMC »
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nick_tochelli

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #3 on: Apr 22, 2014, 04:20 pm »
Out of line in my opinion. Is it true they miss their mark or timing or whatever? Yeah probably. We all screw things up which is the important thing to keep in mind.

Flip the script and think of it this way: You have a bad run and cues are all off. And then in front of everyone an actor calls you out on screwing up the cue. Probably not a great feeling and even if you're unaffected by the comment it's still unprofessional.

Tact is clutch. I am one of the most sarcastic and snarky people I know. There's a time and a place for it. You're only going to learn when it is appropriate by stepping over the line and being burned. or if you quash it from your work personality entirely.

MatthewShiner

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #4 on: Apr 24, 2014, 03:11 pm »
My vote is out of line - not that you are wrong - but not knowing the more subtle things at play at the moment you spoke you - the director thought you were out of line, so you probably were.

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hbelden

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #5 on: Apr 24, 2014, 07:01 pm »
I agree with above - but what worries me more is not that you were sarcastic or out of line, but that it appears you took the actor's comment as a personal attack and responded defensively.

I don't know the actors or director involved, obviously.  Maybe the actor was looking daggers at you when he said what he said.  But from what you've written, it looks like you heard a comment that was not necessarily a criticism directed at you and you responded with a very direct criticism at an individual actor.  In my experience, combativeness is not a trait producers look for when hiring stage managers.
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MatthewShiner

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #6 on: Apr 24, 2014, 08:00 pm »
In my experience, combativeness is not a trait producers look for when hiring stage managers.

I am unsure if comes across as combativeness, but definitely defensive - which is also not a great trait, but understandable - especially in a tech notes situation where people are trying to figure out how the tech is working.  I think a better response would have been to not make it about the actor - but make it about the blocking.  Anytime I can make an issue about something separate from the performer - so that I can help me and the performer work together to find the solution.  Especially since this an improvised show, set blocking maybe hard . . . but explaining that there needs to be clear blocking cues to call cues - or that you and the actor need to up with some sort of communication to make sure you are calling the show in the best way to support the actor.  Anytime, especially as a younger stage manager, you can make less about person versus person and make it PEOPLE versus the PROBLEM - you will come out better.

Anything that could simply be read as "combativeness" should be avoided.

But this is subtle management style issue . . . you have to find the management style that works best for you. 
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bex

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #7 on: Apr 24, 2014, 09:04 pm »
Anytime, especially as a younger stage manager, you can make less about person versus person and make it PEOPLE versus the PROBLEM - you will come out better.

Defensiveness is a constant battle I fight in my stage management (and everyday life). I think this is really helpful, Matthew- not person vs person but people vs problem. I will have to remember that. Thanks!
You will have to sing for your supper & your mortgage, your dental coverage & your children's shoes, over & over again while people in desk jobs roll their eyes the minute you start to complain. So it's a good thing you like to sing.

salbano

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #8 on: Apr 26, 2014, 10:19 pm »
Thanks, y'all!

And I agree, I think it was a little out of line. The situation is just complicated because I've worked with all of these actors before and this actor in particular is a friend of mine. And so that's where things got a little tricky in my head. (And the comment was said defensively as a light board operator and not as a mad stage manager - though I know now that I probably should not have said it that way to begin with.)

But you live and learn. =)

loebtmc

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Re: Was I out of Line?
« Reply #9 on: Apr 27, 2014, 03:13 am »
salbano - this is not meant to  push buttons nor cause offense - or defensiveness - just a notion to drop your way. I looked over your post history and noticed there is a tendency to go to that place. A lot. I get the feeling you are a terrific detail person, but maybe there are some people skills needed.

May I humbly suggest, practice just listening. Don't make any comments of any kind. Do your homework and prep, but practice not reacting to anything. Before you say anything out loud, try counting to 10, putting yourself in the other person's shoes and saying it to yourself three times first.

I've been there - as a young stage manager I knew a great deal about how things were "supposed" to go, but had to learn how to listen to the room before saying anything. You sound like you are on your way to being terrific and may want to make those few adjustments to be even better.

This is a great opportunity to take advantage of this chance to experiment with behavior and with new ways of doing things. Why don't you give it a shot?
« Last Edit: Apr 27, 2014, 03:16 am by loebtmc »

 

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