Author Topic: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only  (Read 28235 times)

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PSMKay

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Stupid actors plague
Stage managers' every move,
Sure as winter's cold.

Stage managers need
A thread to vent their problems,
But prose is boring.

Share your actor woes!
But to keep things humorous,
Use haiku format.

Keep it short and sweet.
Syllables: five, seven, five.
Multiple poems fine.

Please be courteous:
Do not name any real names
So we don't get sued.

 :D
« Last Edit: Jan 29, 2010, 08:34 pm by PSMKay »

nmno

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #1 on: Jan 29, 2010, 11:04 pm »
So sorry I'm late.
Train was stalled and phone was dead.
(Are you buying this?)

Tempest

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #2 on: Jan 30, 2010, 01:55 am »
You cannot find light!
Always stand with head in shadow.
Feet are prettier?
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"

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killerdana

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #3 on: Jan 30, 2010, 02:17 am »
Talking backstage again
No matter how I shush you
Chattering away.
Science without art is sterile.  --Albert Einstein

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PSMKay

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #4 on: Jan 30, 2010, 06:10 am »
First time: called in sick.
Next time: called in arrested.
3rd time call in? Dead.

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SMrose

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #5 on: Jan 30, 2010, 09:05 am »
Why can't you learn lines?
I know entire script now.
Again, you call "line"

RuthNY

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #6 on: Jan 30, 2010, 01:38 pm »
Really, once again?
Signing in that little square,
How hard can it be?
"Be fair with others, but then keep after them until they're fair with you."
--Alan Alda

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RuthNY

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #7 on: Jan 30, 2010, 02:01 pm »
Winter, snow, slush, salt.
Thrust house, actors lie on deck.
Show shoes only, please!
"Be fair with others, but then keep after them until they're fair with you."
--Alan Alda

VSM

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #8 on: Jan 30, 2010, 05:48 pm »
Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...
Ordo ab chao

nmno

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #9 on: Jan 30, 2010, 06:23 pm »
Half-read newspapers,
Abandoned water bottles.
Please, clean up your things.

Half-drunk coffee cups,
Smoldering cigarette butts.
Please! Clean up your crap.

Half-sucked Ricolas,
Crumpled balls of used Kleenex.
Were you raised by wolves?

Thespi620

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #10 on: Feb 11, 2010, 10:55 am »

Send me conflicts please!
Yes, that does mean everything...
I cannot read minds.

If I'm aware that
Your class ends at eight-thirty,
Won't call you for eight.


[The SM is] a very gifted, slightly eccentric master mechanic [keeping] a cantankerous, highly complex machine running at top efficiency by talking to it, soothing it, & lovingly fixing whatever is broken. 
-J. Michael Gillette

missliz

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #11 on: Feb 11, 2010, 11:15 am »
Theater has mice!
Not like Cinderella's friends-
they won't build our set.

You keep calling line.
Maybe YOU should be on book
and I'LL be onstage.

Never thought I'd say
to an actor over 10-
"Please don't lick the props."
I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

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loebtmc

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #12 on: Feb 11, 2010, 12:54 pm »
Here are tonite's notes
Please keep the director's vision
Yes, that IS my job

PSMKay

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #13 on: Feb 11, 2010, 02:46 pm »
Dressing room, call 10:
Flowers, gifts and Buddhist shrine.
No sign of the cast.

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BlantonRK

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Re: Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only
« Reply #14 on: Feb 11, 2010, 05:11 pm »
NOW why are you late?
And I called to remind you.
You kill me - slowly.

Your pay is obscene.
Your contempt is obvious.
Just learn the damn show.

Please stay in your light.
It was focused just for you.
Are you a cockroach?

 

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