Thread to vent about / Actors behaving badly / As haiku only

[PSMKay]

Stupid actors plague
Stage managers' every move,
Sure as winter's cold.

Stage managers need
A thread to vent their problems,
But prose is boring.

Share your actor woes!
But to keep things humorous,
Use haiku format.

Keep it short and sweet.
Syllables: five, seven, five.
Multiple poems fine.

Please be courteous:
Do not name any real names
So we don't get sued.

 

[nmno]

So sorry I'm late.
Train was stalled and phone was dead.
(Are you buying this?)

[tempest_gypsy]

You cannot find light!
Always stand with head in shadow.
Feet are prettier?

[killerdana]

Talking backstage again
No matter how I shush you
Chattering away.

[PSMKay]

First time: called in sick.
Next time: called in arrested.
3rd time call in? Dead.

[SMrose]

Why can't you learn lines?
I know entire script now.
Again, you call "line"

[RuthNY]

Really, once again?
Signing in that little square,
How hard can it be?

[RuthNY]

Winter, snow, slush, salt.
Thrust house, actors lie on deck.
Show shoes only, please!

[VSM]

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

Can't read the schedule
Here's another schedule then
Can't read the schedule...

[nmno]

Half-read newspapers,
Abandoned water bottles.
Please, clean up your things.

Half-drunk coffee cups,
Smoldering cigarette butts.
Please! Clean up your crap.

Half-sucked Ricolas,
Crumpled balls of used Kleenex.
Were you raised by wolves?

[Thespi620]

Send me conflicts please!
Yes, that does mean everything...
I cannot read minds.

If I'm aware that
Your class ends at eight-thirty,
Won't call you for eight.

[missliz]

Theater has mice!
Not like Cinderella's friends-
they won't build our set.

You keep calling line.
Maybe YOU should be on book
and I'LL be onstage.

Never thought I'd say
to an actor over 10-
"Please don't lick the props."

[loebtmc]

Here are tonite's notes
Please keep the director's vision
Yes, that IS my job

[PSMKay]

Dressing room, call 10:
Flowers, gifts and Buddhist shrine.
No sign of the cast.

[BlantonRK]

NOW why are you late?
And I called to remind you.
You kill me - slowly.

Your pay is obscene.
Your contempt is obvious.
Just learn the damn show.

Please stay in your light.
It was focused just for you.
Are you a cockroach?