Author Topic: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say  (Read 27321 times)

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LiLz

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Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« on: Dec 07, 2006, 12:21 am »
I remember there being a list of "Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say" posted in the booth of a theatre where I once worked. I really wish I'd written down some of those pearls. Do any of you folks know where I could find a copy?  What are some of your favorite things you'll never hear a stage manager say?

"I don't need to see the stage to call the show."

"Masking tape is every bit as good as gaff tape."

Hmmm ... I can't think of any others ... I've been breaking down a script all day and my brain cells are exhausted.  Oh, bartender! ...


ChaCha

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #1 on: Dec 07, 2006, 12:47 am »
i think i'll take a sickie tomorrow

just tell the actors, I don't need to know

not to worry, it'll be alright on the night

sorry I'm late
ChaCha

megf

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #2 on: Dec 07, 2006, 12:59 am »
No, I don't have any Advil, band-aids or tissues.

No, we don't need to run the preshow sequence. It'll be fine.

Oops, forgot the no-sandals rule.

Why do we need coffee?

philimbesi

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #3 on: Dec 07, 2006, 07:33 am »
"Let's just wing it."


RuthNY

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #4 on: Dec 07, 2006, 09:19 am »
"No, thanks.  I don't drink."


I remember there being a list of "Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say" posted in the booth of a theatre where I once worked. I really wish I'd written down some of those pearls. Do any of you folks know where I could find a copy?  What are some of your favorite things you'll never hear a stage manager say?
"Be fair with others, but then keep after them until they're fair with you."
--Alan Alda

Tempest

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #5 on: Dec 07, 2006, 12:02 pm »

just tell the actors, I don't need to know



I currently work with a director who seems to live by this one.  He tell the actors about line changes, costume changes, blocking changes, etc, but not me.  About once a week, I find myself staring at the monitor, cursing, saying, "What the hell is X doing out there?"

Add to the list of things you'll never hear a stage manager say:
"I don't know and I don't care."
"I'm slipping out early, the actors can lock up."
"Sure, you can bring your two-year old to rehearsal!"
Jessica: "Of course I have a metric size 4 dinglehopper in my kit!  Who do you think I am?"

philimbesi

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #6 on: Dec 07, 2006, 01:35 pm »
"The directors obviously knows best"

"Nah we don't need to spike that down"

"Schedule-shmedule"



killerdana

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #7 on: Dec 07, 2006, 06:08 pm »
"Oh, just show up whenever."
Science without art is sterile.  --Albert Einstein

smejs

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #8 on: Dec 07, 2006, 08:37 pm »
The "original" list (or at least one version of it) can be found many places online, such as...
http://www.tabsareforflying.co.uk/humour/neversaid.shtml

Erin

cuelight

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #9 on: Dec 08, 2006, 06:06 pm »

just tell the actors, I don't need to know



I currently work with a director who seems to live by this one.  He tell the actors about line changes, costume changes, blocking changes, etc, but not me.  About once a week, I find myself staring at the monitor, cursing, saying, "What the hell is X doing out there?"


Ah, it's bliss isn't it? I've closed a show very similar to that. Right up to closing night I was asking the director if things has been changed (via show reports).

snopesmanager0610

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #10 on: Dec 11, 2006, 12:50 am »
Perhaps it's me being kinda new to the real / professional side of SMing, but why would a SM never say "Thanks, but I don't drink"?

ChaCha

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #11 on: Dec 11, 2006, 03:13 am »
I take that as a joke, not a real thing that stage managers would never say - there must be teetotal stage managers  I guess - but all stage managers probably have that "I need a drink" feeling by the end of some part of every production/rehearsal week/day... Non drinking SMs probably just go " I need chocolate/to strangle someone/a luxurious bath/to become a hermit" or whatever will both express their feelings of frustration/angst/horror/despair/exhaustion and actually make them feel better in the execution of it in the same way way as "I need a drink" does for the rest of us!
ChaCha

Canuck

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #12 on: Dec 11, 2006, 01:54 pm »
Non drinking SMs probably just go " I need chocolate/to strangle someone/a luxurious bath/to become a hermit" !


:D Hahaha!  ChaCha, that's awesome, especially the hermit one...I know I've actually considered it! 

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musicalssm

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #13 on: Dec 11, 2006, 05:17 pm »
"No, we don't need to do a dimmer check."
"Where does this prop go?"
"Of course we can do final dress/tech and opening on the same day."

Canuck

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Re: Things You'll Never Hear a Stage Manager Say
« Reply #14 on: Dec 12, 2006, 01:12 pm »
"I'm being paid way too much to do this job.  Please, don't pay me for the next show and we'll call it even."

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