Things Stage Managers Say

[tempest_gypsy]

"That...that is an excellent question" (For all those things cast members ask you and you can't quite give a diplomatic answer)

Mine is, "That is an excellent question for which I do not currently have an excellent answer. Let me get back to you."

[PSMKay]

If you guys want to do a video that's finee with me. I'm a little busy with other smnet projects at the moment, but can carve out some temp storage space somewhere if needed.

[ScooterSM]

A video sounds like a lot of fun!!

I can't believe that I actually said this, but in the middle of the second 10/12 when a particularly novice (but adult) crew person asked me how to make a bed this is what came out...

Me - "You never learned how to make a bed?"
Him - "no..."
Me - "Well it is about darn time you did!!"

Of course this is the edited version... :-)

[BayAreaSM]

"Can you make sure you wear underwear for your fittings?"

I cannot even count the number of times I've had to say that to supernumeraries. That's really something I never thought I'd ever have to say.

[loebtmc]

Sadly, that's something I've also had to say to actors....along with the "no licking" constraint. Yikes!

[Thespi620]

"Can you make sure you wear underwear for your fittings?"

I cannot even count the number of times I've had to say that to supernumeraries. That's really something I never thought I'd ever have to say.

I've had another SM inform me that one actress I was working with had a habit of not wearing underwear to fittings, and that I should plan to text her the morning of to make completely sure she hadn't forgotten. Some people.

[jman255]

We're not going to be stepping on anybody today, so just say, "Step on Gramps" to cue the next line.

[lydiaelaine]

"Is it yours? No? Then don't touch it!"

"This is your costume/make up/personal belongings crate. There are many like it, but this one is yours. If this doesn't help you all keep your things organised, then nothing ever will."
--In reference to 35 actors and their individual crates so they'd stop losing everything. It was a mess.

"I'm sorry, did I push a full grown man out of my hoo-haa yesterday and no one told me? I'm not your mother."
--Why is it that adults always need the most mommying!?

--"When I posed, "Would you like to read your line notes and correct them?," as a question, I really meant, it's not an option."

I love my actors, I do, but my god.

[megan.s.lehr]

"Is it yours? No? Then don't touch it!"

I say that every freakin' day -.-

[VSM]

"Places Please."
beat
beat
beat
"Okay. Everybody stand up. Really, right now, stand up.
Now that you're all standing, why don't we go to PLACES PLEASE!?!"

[jenkoldsm]

It's right here.

it's right there.

It was right here a second ago.

OK, here we go, no stopping this time.

If I call "hold," please don't go anywhere.

Where did you find that?

No thanks, I don't drink.

[LCSM]

It's right here.

it's right there.

All the time.

[Thespi620]

Did you check the props table?

It's where it's supposed to be.

No, your other right hand.

[nerdfighter]

Are we still doing a video?  I would like to film some stuff.  I seriously thought about doing one myself before I saw this post.  I am also available to edit, should we find a place to post footage.

I have a few to add, I don't remember if someone has said any of these:

"Of course I have a key to that"

Them: Do you have any tape?
SM: You'll have to be more specific.

And similarly:
Them: Do you have any post-its?
SM: You'll have to be more specific

"Who wants to do the talkback?"

"That's a design choice"

"Are you doing alright?"

"Do you need a band-aid?"

"Do you need an ice pack?"

"Do you need a hug?"  (This one might be just me.  What can I say?  I'm a hugger)

"It's in my kit"

"That's 15 minutes, one five" "That's 30 minutes, three zero"

"Good two!"

"Can everyone please wash their own dishes?  I'm not a maid." (I've never actually said this, but have I ever wanted to)

"Did you check your pockets?"

"On it!"

"Can you please not stick your gum/ricola/cough drop to the wall?  Much appreciated"

"We're out of honey.  Again."

"While vitamin water is technically "water", I'd still prefer if you wouldn't drink it in costume."

"Noted."

"Copy that."

"If you don't know what it is/does, please don't touch it."

"We're out of mic tape"

"Can you please take your shirt off so I can check your mic?" 

"The goal here is to get you out of your clothes as fast as possible without injuring ourselves or the costumes"



...Apparently I have hit a dirty patch... Whoops.  Oh well, I have actually said those things.


Can I just say that I love this thread?

[iamchristuffin]

"Can you please take your shirt off so I can check your mic?" 

"The goal here is to get you out of your clothes as fast as possible without injuring ourselves or the costumes"

Oh so many from my days as a radio runner.....