Author Topic: SM: WORST THINGS  (Read 14620 times)

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On_Headset

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #45 on: Jun 24, 2012, 02:33 am »
"I promise I'll put it back when I'm done with it."

Right. Riiiiiight.

On_Headset

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #46 on: Jun 27, 2012, 01:35 am »
Spending several hours running every imaginable diagnostic of some non-functioning or malfunctioning system, taking the thing apart, calling in the experts, posting to the internet, sacrificing a goat to the heathen gods, etc. etc. etc. only to discover that the reason it isn't working is that you've forgotten to flick the "Standby Mode" switch, or someone knocked the plug out of the socket, or some bright spark has been muddling around in the patch bay and reconnected it improperly...

Clients who turn in music and sound effects in formats which are completely incompatible and useless. (What am I supposed to do with .celp files? What is a .celp file? Why do you do these horrible, horrible things?)
« Last Edit: Jun 27, 2012, 01:37 am by On_Headset »

KMC

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #47 on: Jun 27, 2012, 09:06 am »
Clients who turn in music and sound effects in formats which are completely incompatible and useless. (What am I supposed to do with .celp files? What is a .celp file? Why do you do these horrible, horrible things?)

I can certainly sympathize with this one!!!  When I worked on ships we had a guest entertainer who would bring his media that was to be used during the show on a cassette tape (and this was 2006).  The kicker, though, was him wondering why it sounded like the Northern end of a Southbound donkey. 
Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action. -T. Roosevelt

Lizzie

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #48 on: Jun 27, 2012, 11:05 am »

The kicker, though, was him wondering why it sounded like the Northern end of a Southbound donkey. 
[/quote]

 :D Thank you very much for this phrase, KMC. It's one of those I'd like to store up and use on appropriate occasions.

KMC

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #49 on: Jun 27, 2012, 11:23 am »

The kicker, though, was him wondering why it sounded like the Northern end of a Southbound donkey. 

 :D Thank you very much for this phrase, KMC. It's one of those I'd like to store up and use on appropriate occasions.
[/quote]

Hah hah, it's a good one - please steal it!  When you say it in conversation people will stop, take a few seconds to think, then realize what it means. 
Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action. -T. Roosevelt

On_Headset

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #50 on: Aug 13, 2012, 01:57 am »
Major month-long annual rental arrives on Wednesday. This contract is necessary to keep the theatre afloat.

Major heat wave strikes on previous Thursday, lasting until Monday.

Air conditioning breaks down sometime Friday evening. Due to a statutory holiday, nobody is in the building until Tuesday.

On Tuesday, Technical Director arrives and unlocks the space to discover that the floorboards spent the entire weekend warping themselves beyond recognition. They have now attained roughly the shape and curvature of Pringles potato chips. Tons of cracks, several exposed nails, it's a dangerous and unusable mess.

The entire venue staff (including the janitor, box office staff, the publicist, etc.) puts in an all-nighter replacing and then painting all of the floorboards in the theatre to get it ready for the Wednesday rental.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wednesday rental cancels.

They're still going to pay us 60% of their bill (hooray for cancellation fees!) which is enough to keep the lights on, but staff morale is currently halfway between "mutinous" and "genocidal".
« Last Edit: Aug 13, 2012, 02:02 am by On_Headset »

On_Headset

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Re: SM: WORST THINGS
« Reply #51 on: Nov 04, 2012, 03:02 am »
I'm missing one two-way radio.

Just the one.

Every other radio (all 23 of them) is sitting in its charger, red LED blinking happily.

But not the one.

I pester the staff as they leave. Nobody's seen it.

I check with FoH. Nobody's seen it.

I check the dressing rooms. Nobody's seen it.

I check everywhere imaginable. (The flyfloor. The rigging room. The offices. The box office. Everwhere.) It doesn't turn up.

I write it up as a lost article (value: $300) and go home. The form is four pages long. Ugh.

Finally! I'm on my bus going home, and I find a seat, and I sit down--and there's a massive bump at the bottom of my spine, where the radio is still attached to my belt.

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