Introducing the Unicorn Rainbow Sparkly Theatre Company!

[On_Headset]

The printer works. Properly. The first time.

[Tempest]

The printer works. Properly. The first time.

And always has enough paper, ink and toner. This goes for all printers: the one in the office, the one in the rehearsal hall and the wee baby portable one that floats between booth and backstage as needed.

[DCPSM2012]

Each stage manager will be issued a bag with the mechanical equivalents of Hermione's purse and the Tardis. The bag will also contain the qualities of the Room of Requirement, so that anything you or anyone else could possibly need in the entire universe is constantly and consistently at your fingertips.

Any person or persons (including actors, technicians, patrons, and producers) acting like unreasonable seven-and-a-half-year-olds  will be trussed pig-style to a baton and flown above the set. They will not complain. They will not sue. They will take their punishment silently, and be considerate to everyone for the rest of forever.

[iamchristuffin]

Any person or persons (including actors, technicians, patrons, and producers) acting like unreasonable seven-and-a-half-year-olds  will be trussed pig-style to a baton and flown above the set. They will not complain. They will not sue. They will take their punishment silently, and be considerate to everyone for the rest of forever.

While (whilst?) wearing a dunce's cap.

[DCPSM2012]

Whilst wearing a dunce cap. Brilliant!

[bex]

Two unrelated requests to the Grand Poo-Bah of the URSTC:

1- Please make all of the folding tables & event chairs stable and easy to store, transport, and stack, and most importantly, LIGHT WEIGHT. 

2- Please ensure that there is a dedicated kitchen space, including a refrigerator with ice maker, stove, microwave, DISHWASHER, and basic kitchen implements available for prop food prep. This should be a space separate from the green room kitchen, where no one will forget their leftovers for 3 weeks, where no one would ever dare to eat any food stored there, where the sink is never used for cleaning paintbrushes or dumping mop buckets, and where no one from concessions or catering or hospitality would dream of storing food for their events. This kitchen is stocked with frequently-used and useful items like tea and food coloring, funnels, a bottle-capper, and lots of tupperware, and is cleaned as part of the strike of every show.

[missliz]

Two unrelated requests to the Grand Poo-Bah of the URSTC:

1- Please make all of the folding tables & event chairs stable and easy to store, transport, and stack, and most importantly, LIGHT WEIGHT. 

Not to mention level.

[On_Headset]

The entire building uses a single central maintenance system. Instead of taping a makeshift sign to broken equipment (or, even worse, making a note and then promptly forgetting about it), a report is made to a qualified person (available at all hours when the theatre is operational) who will then either repair it themselves or arrange for it to be repaired. This qualified person has technician-level knowledge of all theatrical and building equipment, and will--above all else--be a permanent and long-term member of venue staff, rather than an intern, summer student, contract employee, manager who is far too busy with other tasks, or a hideously unqualified receptionist to whom the task has been delegated.

When a broken piece of equipment is reported, the hand-scrawled sign ("DO NOT USE: BROKEN") is promptly replaced by a computer-printed sign which is designed to be read in poor lighting and features an appendix outlining the specific problem, an estimated time to repair, and a contact number in case of emergencies.

[Tempest]

The entire building uses a single central maintenance system. Instead of taping a makeshift sign to broken equipment (or, even worse, making a note and then promptly forgetting about it), a report is made to a qualified person (available at all hours when the theatre is operational) who will then either repair it themselves or arrange for it to be repaired... (etc.)

I actually work somewhere where this system is in effect. It's mindblowing. And awesome. And gives me hope.

[SMAshlee]

Craft Services will be responsible for all beverages and snacks in the green room during rehearsals.  Someone will hand deliver said beverages and snacks to the stage managers during all breaks.

No actor will eat/drink anything but water/smoke in costume for fear of being seen on the camera system. 

[LCSM]

Craft Services will be responsible for all beverages and snacks in the green room during rehearsals.  Someone will hand deliver said beverages and snacks to the stage managers during all breaks.

No actor will eat/drink anything but water/smoke in costume for fear of being seen on the camera system.

No actor will eat/drink anything but water/smoke in costume because they know and respect the rules, and want to save their Stage Manager the trouble of repeating things over and over and over and over and over and...

[Jessie_K]

Craft Services will be responsible for all beverages and snacks in the green room during rehearsals.  Someone will hand deliver said beverages and snacks to the stage managers during all breaks.

No actor will eat/drink anything but water/smoke in costume for fear of being seen on the camera system.

No actor will eat/drink anything but water/smoke in costume because they know and respect the rules, and want to save their Stage Manager the trouble of repeating things over and over and over and over and over and...

This goes double for footwear.  No performer will wear flip flops ever or go barefoot in any area than the stage unless it has recently been swept and mopped.  Just to save the SM the trouble of yelling at them.

[loebtmc]

No performer will wear flip flops ever or go barefoot in any area than the stage unless it has recently been swept and mopped.

...or crew.

[On_Headset]

An usher will be positioned directly downstage of the conductor, equipped with a paintball gun, and entitled to shoot upon sight of any cellphone, camera, cameraphone, phonecamera, icameraphone or other similar device.

[ScooterSM]

An usher will be positioned directly downstage of the conductor, equipped with a paintball gun, and entitled to shoot upon sight of any cellphone, camera, cameraphone, phonecamera, icameraphone or other similar device.

OMG!!! This is the best idea ever!