Has Felix specified the species of bear he requires? I know where we can find grizzlies, but polar may work in tandem with the show’s current motif. Should the bear be long-hair, or short? Will it need a muzzle? Will the company be feeding it? The bear eats a fish just before the exit- should this be trout, tuna, salmon, real, fake, or Swedish?
Has anyone informed George of this new development? Does his contract cover possible mauling whilst running from a bear? Last season his contract covered live sharks, but he put up quite a fuss about the swordfish, so we should double check.
In which direction is the exit? If George runs out stage left, then the bear will need to be less than six feet tall in order to make it through the door. From there the prop tables will be in the way of any persons or animals larger than four feet around. If George runs out stage right, we will have to use a bear cub, as George will be crawling through a doggie-door. Whereas if George takes the upstage doors, we can use any size bear, so long as its fur is polka-dot (The fur has to blend in with the curtain behind the set, or the exit will be more of a badly timed walk-off).
Do we need a trainer? They’ve been in pretty short supply since that whole “Spiderman” fiasco, so how much are we willing to cough up for one? Will the trainer be union? Is he considered to be an actor, or a technician?
Lastly, how do we get the bear offstage after its reappearance in Act III Scene ii? Any other night, we could park the cargo-truck in the shop and have the bear run straight in- but Ernie has called in sick, and his co-driver plans to be intoxicated the evening of the closing performance. And every evening prior.
New Note:
The lighting, costume, and set designers have now all been written into this evening’s production of “Hello Dolly.” They will all be dressed as though they are all the same person, and will be seen fighting with each other in the background of every scene.