Funny definitions

[jNehlich]

deja-cuing:  the ability to watch a production as an audience member, and at curtain rise, you immediately remember all the cues from the version you did, and as much as you resist it, can't help calling them in your head, and get irritated when the cues don't happen onstage.

[FMurray]

Managing Syndrome: A syndrome afflicting many SMs, causing them to compulsively manage non-theatre friends, colleagues, family, or pets. The worst cases have been seen attempting to manage random people on the streets, other people's children, and wild animals. There is no known cure for Managing Syndrome.

This reminded me of:

Crazy Memory Syndrome: The ability of SMs to remember every little detail of events or conversations with their friends and have their friends think their crazy or creepy because of their memory.

[Trak26]

warm props - actors
voice activated warm props - when as SM you tell actors to move

[On_Headset]

The Lick: The words that actually come out of your mouth when what you really want to say is "Sit down and shut up before I stick this sharpie somewhere tender and painful", "What on EARTH do you think you're doing?!", "Get your hands off my butt before I remove them at the shoulder", or something in that vein.

As in, "I gave him the lick, and it seemed to make the point".


Interesting Choices: What directors call it when someone else has a truly horrific idea.

Bad Ideas: What directors call it when someone has a good idea, but the director didn't think of it first.

Good Ideas: What directors call it when someone makes an interesting choice, but the director doesn't feel like dealing with it themselves, so they make it stage management's problem.

[late_stranger]

Smart Sofa: The sofa's worth of actors who intelligently scheduled nothing that conflicts with rehearsals (Antonyms: Dumb Sofa, Stupid Sofa (depending on how alliterative you're feeling))

[late_stranger]

Thank You Blank Syndrome:
           n. 1)The tendency of stage managers to both give and expect Thank You Blank style acknowledgments to any sort of news given.
               2)The tendency of stage managers to thank everyone around them for everything. (Addendum: If you don't get thanked by a stage manager for doing something, you've managed to really, really screw something up)

Maybe that second one is just me, but I find that with high school actors, saying thank you for everything, rather than diminishing the sentiment, actually increases general goodwill and soothes egos that could otherwise become problematic.

[dancer-sm]

After working on a musical for over 10 weeks some of the actors still looked very uncomfortable and out of place while dancing.
Thus led to the use of  spazghetti.

Spazghetti--People who look like a spaz with extreme noodle arms while dancing.

[On_Headset]

Blindering

The ability go about your day as if wearing horse blinders. A necessary skill for SMs to develop. Examples:
- Opening the broom closet to find Mercutio sucking face with an ensemble member, and--without missing a beat--reminding them that they're going to be late for the company exercises, taking a broom, and closing the door behind you.
- Crossing a dressing room full of mostly-naked people of your chosen gender, stopping only to grab Marat's puffer, remind a [naked] actor to hit his mark ("It's a tricky lighting cue, and if you're off by even just a foot or so, the audience can't see you..."), and walk right back out again without even noticing the nudity.


Shuttupping (shut-tupping)

What SMs do when forced to have a conversation for which they don't have time, but the other person's standing/stature/emotional state prevents them from abruptly ending it. Lots of one-word answers, lots of sentenceswhereallthewordsruntogether, lots of emphatic nodding...

Producer: "...so, anyway, how are you doing?"
SM: "Fine."
Producer: "That's great. Say, did you get the e-mail I sent you about the request from FoH to add another late call after intermission?"
SM: "Yes."
Producer: "Fantastic! I hope I'm not keeping you from anything important, but between you and me, do you think you'll be able to help them out? Stacey from facilities had a real jerk of a patron last night who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so we had to scramble up the security guard, and we'd really like to avoid that situation in the future. It's not the first time, either, and I wouldn't be talking to you about this if it wasn't important, because I know you're a busy person, and we really do value the work you do for us here. Do you think you can help us out?"
SM: "Probably."
Producer: "That's great. That's really great. You know, you're really a valued member of our team..."


Shouldering

When a blessed soul rescues someone else from a conversation they don't have time to have.

Producer: "...and I really wanted to make sure you understand just how much we value your input into our operations. We're even thinking of bringing you in on staff meetings! You've contributed so much to our organization..."
Production Manager: "Oh! Hello, [Producer]! Hi, [SM]! Say, [Producer], if you're not too busy can I speak with you in my office? Is now good? [*wink at SM*]"