When to take the blame

[ABennett]

The show is The Pirates of Penzance. We're surprisingly ahead of schedule in terms of the performers, but the tech is behind.

We have these two large bones that form a skull and crossbones shape during the overture, and them get placed on the downstage corners of the apron and live there for the rest of the show. As the carpenters have fallen a little behind, the brackets to prevent the bones from falling have not been built yet, and the bones just stand up by themselves.

Today we were finishing the Act I finale. Before calling the curtain standby, I asked my ASM who can see directly across the proscenium if the curtain would be clear of one of the bones, and whether it would be alright to close the curtain at the end of the act. She told me "yes", and I called the curtain close cue. Almost immediately, the bone fell and broke, narrowly missing a few actors.

The director was understandably angry. As I expected, that anger was mostly directed at me. I spoke to him afterward to tell him exactly what happened, but that didn't seem to make him any less angry with me. I understand that making sure that never happens, as well as ensuring the safety of the cast and crew, is my responsibility. However, in order for this mistake to have been made, the stage hands who placed the unit would have to have seriously missed their spike. The ASM also either lied to me directly or didn't know what I was talking about. Either way, simply saying "yes" was wrong

Although i told him I accept that the responsibility is ultimately mine, and told him it wouldn't happen again. Then I let him know about the other mistakes that contributed to this, and he still said it was up to me not to call that cue, and the blame was on me.

My question is, when should I have just accepted the blame, regardless of how much was actually my fault? There is a point when we should just say "ok, my bad, let's move on", and I know that's what the director expected, but that's not what I did, which only seemed to make matters worse.  I'm also curious in general how often people just say "my bad" when it's actually not.

[dallas10086]

You'll find that you will have to take the blame when things go wrong whether they were a direct result of something you did or not. Take it and apologize. Then after the dust has settled, get together with your ASM and crew and calmly and without jumping to conclusions, go over step by step what exactly happened. Nearly hitting several actors is very serious and steps should be taken that nothing like that happens again.
Your director probably knows that you didn't see the set issue but decided to go ahead with the cue anyway. But the hierarchy dictates that you are the head of your team, therefore, any problems occuring within your team is yours to fix. He isn't going to go to your ASM and talk to them, that's your job.

I find a good trait to learn in stage management is the ability to agree with blame from a director quickly without taking it personally. You can always discuss it later one-on-one.

[loebtmc]

I was taught to lead with this phrase "I'm so sorry, it was my mistake, it will never happen again"

(and, what Dallas said - the SM is the team leader, and no matter who does what it's on our shoulders. We fix it later after the dust settles and others cool off - without blame, without anger, without rancor. A dangerous mistake was made, it needs to be fixed, how can we fix it)

[stagegal1]

I am of the belief that if anyone on my crew makes a mistake, it's my fault.  Maybe my instructions weren't clear enough, or I didn't fully explain the importance of the task.  Whatever the reason, it is my job to prevent and therefore, my fault if it happens.

[nmno]

I guess I would use the phrase "I'll take care of it"  inplying you can fix it but without assuming full responsibility.  Yes, your ASM should not have given you a clear  - and were you unclear about what "clear" meant?"  Whatever - "I'll take care of it" doesn't assume responsibility for something that really wasn't your fault while at the same time focusing people on moving forward (along this idea, I'm not a fan of assigning blame initially, but figuring out how to olve the problem to keep moving forward.)

[Mac Calder]

One of the best tricks I ever learnt was how to accept blame that does not truely fit on your shoulders.

Phrases like "I appologise, we obviously had a communication error and I will work with the team to ensure we clear up any issues relating with clearance calls. I will also follow up with the carpenters to see how long it will take to get the correct brackets made so that we will be sure this does not happen again."

In the one acceptence of blame you acknowledge that you take responsibility, where the issues were and the steps you will take to solve it. A trifecta.

[missliz]

If it was something I delegated or oversaw, it's my problem. For the show I'm doing currently (and other shows I have done at this theater), actors are doing a lot of the scene changes, setting their own props, etc, but all under my direction. I've found it helpful to make a very detailed list of which actors are handling what, down to what piece of furniture when. Then, for example, when something gets left onstage after a scene change, everyone involved knows who was supposed to handle it, or if it wasn't delegated (not on the list).

[dallas10086]

Another point I think I need to make: when you decide to take the blame gracefully, rather than put the attention on a team member's mistake, you're showing your team that they can trust you. Being corrected in private is more tolerable than being thrown under the bus publically. If you're continually pointing out their mistakes and taking none of the responsibility yourself, you are telling them: you probably won't call yourself out when you do make a mistake, you may make an unfair conclusion that they were responsible for something when they weren't and they'll be less apt to go to you when a problem does occur, possibly making for a bigger mess to clean up later.

[Rebbe]

"I'll take care of it" doesn't assume responsibility for something that really wasn't your fault while at the same time focusing people on moving forward (along this idea, I'm not a fan of assigning blame initially, but figuring out how to olve the problem to keep moving forward.)

This is pretty much my thinking too.  I would add that, when a mistake is made, the director (or others) are really angry about the mistake, not at you as a person.  It's not personal, though usually feels that way in the moment.   

I would encourage you to think that your ASM misjudged the situation, and focus on how they can make a better judgment, rather than thinking that they were “wrong.”    Since you are in high school, I assume your ASM is too.  Part of learning, for both of you, is making mistakes, so that you know how to avoid the same ones in the future.  Is there is an adult mentor who could help you work with your backstage team to figure out how to call this cue safely?  If poor timing could result in an injury, that’s a lot of responsibility for you to have by yourself right now.

I also feel like part of what you’re asking is whether you should explain what happened, in the event of a mistake.   You’ll have to figure out on a case-by-case basis whether giving the director more details about the problem is constructive or not.  You can be honest and discrete at the same time, by saying something like “I had a miscommunication with backstage about whether the curtain was clear.”  It’s not inherently wrong to explain, as many directors feel better knowing something specific, and solvable, happened.  But other directors will take to much explanation as defensivness on your part, which may be what happened in your situation.  Just don’t say anything that is going to send the director running backstage to chew someone else out.   So if by taking the blame you mean, “should the director only yell at me, when other people were also involved?” then my answer would be yes, the SM should take that one for the team.

[Cedes]

I generally say 'I'll take care of it' as well. 

[computekid]

All the textbooks and all the mentoring I've ever had have explained to me that fault and blame always always always lie with the stage manager.  I feel like this is one of the major reasons that people leave the profession.  It is very difficult to continually accept blame for unavoidable mistakes and keep your job at the same time.  Later, when you're out of earshot of the director, you can speak with your ASM and find out exactly where the miscommunication happened.  I'll tell you what though, if it were me, that ASM would be done giving me clears for the rest of the run!

[KMC]

All the textbooks and all the mentoring I've ever had have explained to me that fault and blame always always always lie with the stage manager.

I couldn't disagree with this statement more.  There is rarely sense, honor or benefit in admitting fault or taking blame for something over which you had zero control.  I think nmno and Rebbe's earlier comments are on target.  Focus on moving forward and resolving the issues without directly admitting fault or taking blame.  Now, if you did actually screw up that's another story entirely!

[ABennett]

thanks for the help, everyone

quick update:

i've worked things out with the director, apologized for the disagreement, and it looks like everything is all patched up. He told me that he's excited to work with me again, so it looks like everything turned out ok.

I really appreciate the help, thanks! I'm glad to know how to handle this situation now. After looking at these responses, I  realize that getting defensive is never going to solve anything. I still think it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't really matter 2 months later, does it?

[kallulah]

If it was something I delegated or oversaw, it's my problem. For the show I'm doing currently (and other shows I have done at this theater), actors are doing a lot of the scene changes, setting their own props, etc, but all under my direction. I've found it helpful to make a very detailed list of which actors are handling what, down to what piece of furniture when. Then, for example, when something gets left onstage after a scene change, everyone involved knows who was supposed to handle it, or if it wasn't delegated (not on the list).

As I have definitely learned in the past month, it's always your fault.  Even if the director is completely making things up.  Your situation was a common one, and it will definitely not be the last time it happens. 

Of course it wasn't your fault that what happened, happened but the crew are your responsibility so whatever they're not getting right is something you're not getting right. 

Consider the crew as a reflection of yourself.  The better shape they're in, the better you look to your director. 

When accidents like this happen it's just important enough to apologize for it, accept FULL responsibility and go back to your booth.  Even if the director is still stewing about it, just move on to get his mind off it. 

What's done is done and you can't take it back.  Directors are ingrained to believe that it's never their problem, it's always your problem.  So don't make it their problem.