i was in my first production in 6th grade and i really loved being on stage, however, i really wasn't that great at acting or singing. when i was a freshman, my best friend auditioned for the spring musical and got a leading role. not wanting to be left out, i did crew. i started out on the light board.
the next year, i did lights again, this time designing the lighting myself (the importance of being earnest is a really simple show, tech wise!). then that spring, i noticed that the SM was, basically, unhappy and hated our director. i went to her and said, "if you want to stop stage managing, i want to do it." she said she wasn't going to quit and i was a little upset but i still wanted to stick with it.
my junior year started and way before tech rehearsals began, the SM came to me and told me she was done and she wanted me to take over. so for that show, doctor faustus, i was ASM and head light board operator. between programming the light board, calling shows [the SM i mentioned before magically got sick during tech and dress week] and being the last one out of the theatre at night, i was exhausted and questioned if this was really what i wanted to do. i would freak out everytime the curtain opened each night and just wanted it to stop.
i told myself that if i focused on SM and gave it another try, i would like it. and i was right.
i SMed my first show on my own this year [grease] and it was a success. next year is my senior year and i hope to pursue SMing in college.