My first question is: how did you get this job and what were you told before you signed on?
My second question is: why haven't you quit yet?
If you had been told early on that the director worked this way, or that promptness wasn't really important to this theater company, that would have enlightened your expectations from the start, and you could have decided if that was an environment you could work with. If you had been able to meet the director and ask him about his rehearsal process, it could have spared lots of nasty surprises. Or even if you could have asked around about other people's experiences with this theatre, you might have learned a lot. I know this doesn't help you now, but maybe background checking can spare you this misery in the future.
I have found, in my experience, that there's not a whole lot you can do in a situation like this unless upper management (like the Artistic Director) is aware of the situation and 100% supportive of your position. So when I encounter an environment like this, I work to inform the management about tardiness, wasted rehearsal time, excessive changes and adjustments, etc., as early as possible. I pop in their office to establish a relationship with them - so they know my face and learn that I'm not a hysterical mess of an SM. That way they believe me when I report problems in rehearsal. Ok, so this doesn't help you now either, because it's a little late for all this strategic positioning... (but you can still talk with the Artistic Director, and I would encourage you to do this anyway - and soon)
So why haven't you left the show? I know it's a really hard decision, and that we dedicated and perfectionist SMs feel like we are abandoning people who need our help - or worse, we feel like we failed at our job. But this has nothing to do with you. You cannot change this situation or force others to behave a certain way when they clearly refuse you. You have done the best you could do; others are determined to have their way and you have paid for it with with stress, sweat, tears, a lot of unhealthy anger, and now you've lost your day job. Is this really worth it? Trust me, you won't be ruining your career. There will be other companies and other gigs. I hear from some of your rants that you aren't being permitted to successfully perform your job duties. I would certainly agree. So if you aren't allowed to do your job, you should leave. If you're spending sleepless nights and miserable days, you should leave. But you can't expect payment if you quit, and of course this will end your relationship with this director - that's probably best. It might end your relationship with this theatre, so I would recommend you speak with the Artistic Director about this right away. Things will end better if you can provide a replacement (but can you really recommend this situation to even your worst enemy?). I mean, you don't have to stomp away from any meanie company who won't do things your way. But there is a limit to how much anyone should have to tolerate, and you probably crossed it even before tech week.
If you think you can ride this out for the rest of performances, do. But distance and protect yourself. Do your job and go home. A riot act read to the cast won't help. More hand-holding (reports, calls, and emails) won't help. Just live through it if you can. This is a really hard position you are in, and you have my complete sympathy. Others would give you different advice. But me, I would get myself out of there as fast as possible.