Author Topic: Difficult Letters From Parents  (Read 3404 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Caroline Naveen

  • Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 56
    • View Profile
  • Experience: High School
Difficult Letters From Parents
« on: Oct 27, 2013, 11:27 pm »
Hello All,
I had a particularly difficult rehearsal today that resulted in the director having an emotional breakdown, and yelling at several child cast members. I did as much damage control as possible and have received e-mails like the following in my inbox. I'm still a student stage manager and still in high school...this is an increasingly important opportunity for me as it is a professional production, but.....I'm just totally clueless as how to respond to this situation. Here is the letter: (Names have been omitted to protect the identity of those involved.)

"(My Name) for the last few weeks, I've been getting reports of (Director) being verbally mean and angry. (Actor) wanted to quit a few weeks ago because he is not accustomed to this type environment and it had become uncomfortable for him. We encouraged him to be a person who stays with commitments even though they are not what he expected. I'm sorry to say none of this has been enjoyable for him at all. He is afraid of (Director), actually. Tonight, he burst into tears as soon as he got in the car because he was so angry he was shaking. He said (Director) screamed at a little girl and made her cry. (Actor) felt terrible for her and could not believe this behavior from an adult who works with kids. He also said you were yelled at and that made (Actor) very upset too.
 I'm not sure what to do about all this. I hope it does not continue. I don't feel it would be fair to ask a volunteer to continue working in a harsh environment if things do not improve in this area. I know that putting on a play can be hard work and stressful, but it needs to be fun, and a rude hostile leader makes it very unenjoyable."

Sometimes in this business directors get angry or upset and that's understandable. However, this behavior is totally unjustifiable, and the above statements are completely true in this instance. I really like this director and have worked with him before on multiple occasions. This situation has left me feeling sick to my stomach and conflicted as to what to do...Thoughts?
« Last Edit: Oct 27, 2013, 11:32 pm by Caroline Naveen »

BLee

  • SM Expert
  • ****
  • Posts: 151
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
    • BrandyLee Hatcher, SM
  • Affiliations: University of California-Irvine, Graduate SM, Class of '13
  • Current Gig: Assistant Stage Manager at Disneyland Resorts
  • Experience: College/Graduate
Re: Difficult Letters From Parents
« Reply #1 on: Oct 28, 2013, 12:52 am »
This is above your pay grade. What I mean by that is your best step is to go to whoever your boss is, perhaps the Production Stage Manager or other higher ranked position, and share these e-mails with them. You are in no position to confront the director or explain why this behavior is intolerable. It is never acceptable to yell at children in a production, no matter how much you like the director.

Not turning these parent's concerns over to someone with enough authority to deal with the situation puts your reputation far more at risk than any concerns you may have about your relationship with the director. Whoever you turn the letters over to should handle the situation with discretion, perhaps by attending a few rehearsals to observe the director's behavior and discuss the parental concerns that are turning up. No one will fault a high school student for not dealing with the situation alone, but they maybe be upset if a parent contacts them and says they contacted you and you did nothing.

Remember, it is not you deciding his behavior is unacceptable (even if deep down you agree). You are simply allowing someone with authority to review the concerns of parents and address them appropriately. Even if the director knows you turned the letters in, he should be reasonable enough to know you did not write the e-mails yourself and it is your responsibility to deal with the situation in the best manner you know how.

Best of luck. These types of situations can be a difficult test of our leadership abilities. I applaud you for taking the concerns seriously and seeking counsel from others when you were unsure of the next step. That is a good trait for a stage manager.
XX. The only valid excuse for missing one's cue is death.
-Proverb from the Techie Bible.

Caroline Naveen

  • Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 56
    • View Profile
  • Experience: High School
Re: Difficult Letters From Parents
« Reply #2 on: Oct 28, 2013, 01:14 am »
Thank you so much for your advice! I have already taken as many steps as I could....the weird thing about this production is that because of my history and reputation at this theatre. I am the production stage manager (not the student production stage manager...the production stage manager.) and will be calling the show. I do have a mentor. However, she is currently running a show on the theatre's mainstage space and is unable to be present at most of the rehearsals due to matinees and late night shows. Except she walked into todays rehearsal as two girls left the room crying, the director was in a meltdown, and I was frantically writing down blocking for set changes we only had a few hours to work with because they needed to go back to the shop to be painted. Great. I followed your first bit of advice before it was even answered yeah! Great minds think alike lol, and have contacted her requesting for permission to forward this e-mail to her and she has recommended I draft a response and we will talk about it tomorrow.

This advice was extremely helpful:
 
Remember, it is not you deciding his behavior is unacceptable (even if deep down you agree). You are simply allowing someone with authority to review the concerns of parents and address them appropriately.


 

riotous