Author Topic: Advice Needed: Working with Minimal Show Familiarity; Rocky Job Performance  (Read 3102 times)

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JenWithFlashlight

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Hello,

I'm in urgent need of advice about some interconnected problems running a show at an outdoor theater. I've been shouldering the difficulties moderately well while I've been at work. However, this morning and afternoon I was quietly thinking up solutions when, unexpectedly, tears came pouring out of me. I cried so hard my eyes turned bloodshot, which I haven't done in the last twelve years. About fifteen minutes later, I was standing in place to stretch my arms, when my vision went sparkly and my legs went out from under me. I suspect this was an anxiety attack followed by fainting, but whatever it was for me personally, it is in terms of my job performance a cue for me to get the show problems taken care of ASAP.

I'd like to ask you for your advice in coming up with solutions.

This is my second summer at my theater. I’m contracted as “Stage Manager,” but a more accurate title for me might be “Backstage Manager” or “Technical Stage Manager.” Our PSM works closely with the Director, Cast, Choreographer, etc. in rehearsals. During that time, I’m working with three to five Technicians and the TD to hang lights and perform maintenance on set pieces, the stage, props, and sometimes the property in general.

I was afforded the chance to watch one rehearsal of Act One last year, but otherwise, I've always been busy with technical duties during rehearsals. During run-throughs, tech rehearsals, and performances, I’m backstage coordinating scene shifts, props traffic, and safe handling of fire, so I’m not able to give the show itself my full attention at that time, either. The way I made it through last year (this particular show is performed annually) was that a previous Stage Manager kindly volunteered to show me the ropes. She also typed up a running sheet, props checklists, crew assignment checklists, and special notes about the spring, torches, propane, horses, and gunfire—but a number of those elements have changed this year, some elements are missing or out of order on the paperwork (and I’m just finding this out this year), and in most cases, cues and relative timing were never listed for the run sheet. The Volunteer simply knew them by heart. She’d been an Actor in the show in seasons past, and was intimately familiar with the storyline. She told me cues for my responsibilities, but not others’—which worked just fine last year, but this year leaves much to be desired. I’d think about contacting her for advice & perspective, but she is volunteering overseas. I ask questions of people at work who can help, but sometimes they have part of an answer or none at all. Asking my direct supervisor is sometimes helpful, but it often feels like a bad idea, as I will explain in a moment.

This year, the PSM offered to assign me a script if I would like one, as well as one to be kept in the scene/prop/maintenance shop. I gratefully accepted. However, before she could assign it to me, I went to check with the TD (my supervisor/boss) to make sure he still wanted one for the shop, and he informed me the Tech Staff would be assigned one script to be kept in the scene shop "and not floating around." I seemed to have caught him at a bad time, so I apologized and dropped the subject. Having a script in the shop does me no good: I don't have time to do paperwork on the job while we're busy with lighting and various types of upkeep. I need a script I can look at in my spare time, with my computer next to me.

You know that expression about not seeing the forest for the trees? Well, when it comes to the show as a whole and all the tech cues that factor into it, I can see the 'forest,' but it and its 'trees' are fuzzy. To connect with the rhythm of the show, I need to be present for rehearsals or at least have read the script a few times recently. Using a script to make comprehensive paperwork with clear cuing information is the only way I know how to make sure each 'tree' is visible when it needs to be. Currently, I'm cheating by using last year's paperwork and word-of-mouth from various Company members, but there is still more, like relative time between cues, that I could get a much better handle on if I had a script. I haven’t numbered the cues on the running sheet, but there are over 100 rows in the Excel file, so juggling and memorizing is not an option for me personally—one of my lifelong flaws is that I’m scatterbrained and forgetful. I rely on show familiarity and/or clear, accurate paperwork. If I could do get my hands on a script to carefully and respectfully use at home, I’d make paperwork that would enable me to do my job more quickly and confidently.

I should note, too, our PSM does not call cues for things like moving set pieces or turning our spring off and on. It’s my job to know those cues and make sure they get done, whether by me, or by someone to whom I've delegated the task.

Meanwhile, I’ve made several mistakes on the maintenance front, sometimes due to forgetfulness and sometimes from being fairly sure that what I was doing was the right thing when…it just wasn’t. Wires (electric matches, not scrap, as it turned out) stored in the wrong bucket. Measurements taken from the wrong dimensions. An extension cord plugged into the wrong outlet. A to-do list of maintenance chores not memorized. A choice that had to be made: turn the spring on at the cue that was specified last week, or at the cue that was specified more recently, followed by my boss snapping at me, “Fix your #$%^& list.” I mess up daily. I feel guilty and ashamed of how much it irritates the TD and how it seems he's losing confidence in me. As TD, he’s under a lot of pressure to get everything right, just like I am, and I wonder if that’s part of why he’s impatient with my mistakes. It would be perfectly understandable. But because I have so much respect for this person who has taught me a -Lot- about being a Technician that I never learned in school, and because my sense of purpose/accomplishment/pride comes 90% from doing well at my job, it devastates me to disappoint or anger my boss. I've started to walk on eggshells. I defer to him for decisions that ordinarily as an SM (at least in college and community theater productions) I would make. My mind goes blank when a Technician asks me a question I should know the answer to, but I'm exaggeratedly afraid of giving an answer the TD would disagree with. I sometimes can only think and move in slow motion when he's talking to me or when I know he’s watching me work because I’m so afraid of messing up again. I’m not afraid of mistakes in and of themselves. I’d be quick forgive myself if it was a flub I could promptly correct and then move on from, but to lower this person’s confidence in me is extremely disheartening. I look up to him for his intelligence, his wide and fine-tuned array of capabilities, and his sense of humor as well as for the fact that he is my boss. For his sake, for mine, for the story, and for the sake of the rest of the Staff, Crew, Cast, and Audience, I want to excel at my job, but my best just isn’t cutting it right now.

Please, fellow SMs, if you have any words of wisdom, lay'em on me.

Thank you.

Jen



I hope I've posted this in the correct forum. If not, I apologize.

loebtmc

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First, take a deep breath. And then another.

It sounds like your job description has shifted, and with it your responsibilities and your work load.

1) You need your own script. This is not the tech script, this is the ASM/deck manager script, and it is not to be shared. The TD needs to get his own shared one for the shop.
Once you reclaim that script, read it. Read it again. And again. Out loud if it makes better sense. Then go through it and break it down. Separate the scenes, and all the obvious props and shifts. Then take assiduous notes during rehearsal to make sure everything is written down. Then organize it in a way that makes sense to you.
Bring paper and pencil with you everywhere and take notes on everything: Actor entrances/exits, wagon shifts, possible costume QCs, perishable or delicate (or dangerous) props .... EVERYTHING.

2) Don't touch things that you don't know about. Ask first. Always. Same things as the rule for props.

3) Cut yourself some slack. You are learning. You will make mistakes. That's ok, just don't let them stop you.

4) Do one thing at a time. Today, for example, take all prop notes (write down everything regardless, but don't worry abt organizing the costume/set/etc). Track them in a way that makes sense to you, but allows room for things to change (including who brings it on/off, where it lives before and after, etc).

5) Breathe.

6) Breathe.

7) Be willing to apologize - but not toady. Be willing to forgive yourself.

8 ) Be willing to look for middle ground, for creative solutions, for middle ground. Find appreciation and find love.

9) BREATHE.

10) Use this site as the amazing resource it is - for forms, for advice, for support.

11) BREATHE.

12) See a doctor if any of your symptoms appear again. Immediately.
« Last Edit: Jun 22, 2014, 09:36 pm by loebtmc »

hbelden

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Recognize that the theatre you're working at has no knowledge of or interest in industry standards - or what many of us would see as industry standards.  Understand that you've taken on a workload that should be handled by three or four different people.

It sounds like this perennial remount has grown because people do the same things year after year?  When a piece is developed organically over many years, the people doing it add incrementally to what they know, and create ad hoc solutions to immediate problems; those unconsidered solutions become institutionalized, but really difficult for a newcomer to understand, especially when the new person is trying to get the entire project instead of just a few changes.

You can't make the people above you better managers - it sounds like they are also overworked - but when your self-evaluation gives you extreme physical reactions, remember that you were not given a starting point from which you could succeed.

Your job now, as loebtmc says, is to build your show from the ground up - which means getting a script all your own.  For me, this is non-negotiable; if I were in your position, and was not given a copy of the script for my very own, I would walk.  There's no way the show would be safe to perform if, as the deck stage manager, I didn't know what was supposed to be happening.

Next, compartmentalize your shop work and your show work.  When you're doing your work in the shop, treat it as a day job and let the show stuff clear out of your head.  Multi-tasking is its own stressor.

Outside of your shop hours, triage the work you need to do.  What's most show-critical?  What are other people depending on you for?  If you're calling cues, use the script to write warnings for yourself, that give you enough time to check your notes before the cue happens.  Since there are no scene timings, look for events/lines onstage that you know you'll hear and prep based on those.  Look for cue sequences, where you don't have time to check your notes, and work to memorize those.  Back in my early days, I was a frequent guest at all-night diners - particularly those with coffee refills - and spent many hours cleaning up my notes after rehearsals so that I could be ready for the next day.  Like you, if it's not written down, I can't execute it in real-time during a run.

Finally, see if you can get your PSM and TD to meet with you in a few minutes and clarify whether you are needed as a stage manager or as a technician.  If the show can't run without you calling cues for deckhands backstage, then you're a stage manager and *must* be allowed to rehearse.  If the show won't get built without you working under the TD on "technical duties," then you're a stagehand and can *only* be responsible for the cues you yourself run.  It sounds to me like the problem you're running into is that two different worlds think they have full claim on your attention.  The person who tries to serve two masters ends up serving none.

In the case of a loss of cabin pressure, you put the oxygen mask over your own face before you turn to assist your neighbor.  You're not going to do anyone any good if you don't take care of yourself.  Find a way A) to make this show safe for all participants and B) to sustain your own career in this field.

If you need to know something to do your job, ask for it, and keep asking for it until you get it.

Breathe.
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Heath Belden

"I'm not good, I'm not nice, I'm just right." - Sondheim
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