WORK/LIFE BALANCE: Dealing with stress

[stagemonkey]

ok first a quick little story to help make my point.

One of my best teachers in college what that of my drafting teacher.  We met once a week on fridays from 1-4.  During this class I was swamped stage managing the large scale musical at school so it was hard to find time during the week to devote hours to drafting (to those of you who have done hand drafting you know it can be time consuming especially for someone just learning) So when assignments were due on Fridays it happened very often that I didn't have them done, luckily my teacher understood I was working on the big show and as the shop manager/ATD of the school he saw and appreciated the work I did as a stage manager checking in with the shop from time to time just to be like whats up.  But anyway even though the assignments were always due friday it always turned out i had them in on monday and was never marked down for them being late.  The reason for this was as my teacher told the class "one of the most important things you learn in college is not from the class rooms or any books, the most important thing you should learn is time management.  All students have a lot to do so in college you need to learn how to budget your time." so basically he said he wouldnt take off any points from late assignments provided that we dont wait till the start of class to be like "yeah i didnt finish it can i turn it in later," if we could see ahead enough to see we wouldn't get it done and told him a day or 2 ahead of time it was fine.

So best way to relieve stress is to learn how to manage you time better.  I can say this now cause in college i over booked myself once or twice, which was good cause it showed me my breaking point and now im more cautious about doing so much.  I feel now as a college graduate that in college overbooking yourself is just one of those things you have to do once to learn your limits, at least there  you have the safety net. 

When i over booked myself i was SMing for a community theatre to bring in some money at the same time I was the Master Electrician for a show at collge.  Since the shows conflicted a bit I slacked a little on my duties as ME as the SM was somethign i was more interested in and they paid me.  In the end the after the shows were all done the schools ME (my advisor for the practicum) and the lighting director told me I did very good work when i was there during tech and such but during the early stages i slacked and others had to pick up the work (i mean it wasnt so bad the schools ME was the lighting designer for the show so he knew everything). Ultimately they were like if this was the real world you would have been fired; however since i did do great work during the techs and such they didnt want to fail me. So to make up for it I volunteered to be the ALD for a smaller show which I knew the LD was complaining they didnt give me an assistant (ultimatelly i just helped update his paper work and help teach the labor at the hang). SO in the end i was able to learn to better schedule the things i do which can mean giving up something you want to do for something else you want to do.

And one last comment off of what someone else said.  Learn to delegate tasks to others.  When I started stage managing in college I wanted to do it myself so I would know for sure it was done (i wasnt very trusting of some asm's). Ultimately I began delegating somethings and my life suddenly got so much easier being able to trust others to do the job (ok sometimes i didnt fully trust them but i gave them the task anyway so they can learn to do things.) often in college you see everyone wants to do everthing themselves cause then I think it gives them more of a sense of ownership to be like "yes this was my lighting design" or "i did all the work sming this show." but remember theatre is a collabortive art form.  Use your assistants, delegate tasks to others to help you, and don't be afraid to ask for other peoples advice or help as they might have a way of doing something that can make your job so much easier. You can lower your stress just by knowing everyone around has the same goal of putting on a great show, don't do it all yourself.

[IvoryWonder]

I won't say much, because everyone's already said everything and a lot better than I could, but I'd just like to say I feel for you! I've had to learn this lesson many times in my life- not to overcommit myself and do too much. But like someone said- How can you put your all into one show if you're working on another at the same time? I'd try to focus on one show at a time, give it all the attention from you that it deserves!

[Balletdork]

Ack!  You sound like you're in a bad, bad way! You are doing too much. The End.

I can only recommend that you try to find a replacement on some of your projects. If you find a capable replacement sooner rather than later everyone will be better off. I don't see how in your current situation you'll be able maintain high quality work. This is the advice I would give any of my own students.

Your university should have a release to work program in place? Where they have to approve any outside work you do. This program is designed so that the faculty can make sure you do not find yourself in this situation of complete over-extended-ness.

That said- I have funny pens & pencils- they light up or have feather's or are shaped like Dracula or the Nutcracker or Barbie... I don't use them all the time- but they sure do come out whenever I need a quick pick up.

Stress can also be relieved by communicating your frustrations & anger with your peers. For example- on this forum! I also love to call my out-of-town non-theater friends who don't know any of the people I work with & vent, vent, vent! it's completely reciprocal, and as they don't know anyone in the theater biz I feel totally safe. Probably this is why Analysts are so popular in our culture! 

And Finally a nice long walk, cleaning house w/ long music or spending some time at the local batting cages have always been fixes for me! 

[BeckyGG]

I agree 100% with what everyone has said about drinking plenty of water, eating right, and exercise.  The one thing that I personally do which I find is a wonderful stress relief is baking.  I tend to bring some homebaked goodies into rehearsal once a week or so.  The cast loves it and I find the process of baking (even something small like cookies) incredibly relaxing.

[liamproche]

(Dog..........and Primus.......it helps :-) )

[MarcieA]

I agree 100% with what everyone has said about drinking plenty of water, eating right, and exercise.  The one thing that I personally do which I find is a wonderful stress relief is baking.  I tend to bring some homebaked goodies into rehearsal once a week or so.  The cast loves it and I find the process of baking (even something small like cookies) incredibly relaxing.

I do the same thing! I love the chemistry of baking.

When I'm really stressed I do bread from scratch. People know it's been a rough one when I come in with bread and butter!

[Mac Calder]

God, you are making me really want to work on a stressful show with you. I don't have the skills/experiance to bake anything decent, and there is nothing I like better than fresh bread (I hate the stuff from "Instant bread, just add water, salt and yeast" as well as bread-machine stuff, and commercial bread just doesn't feel the same)... Fresh bread, still warm, with butter... real comfort food...

That said, TBC thearapy is my current "Calming down" routine (two beers & a curry), whilst watching Red Dwarf. Best investment I ever made I think.

[BeckyGG]

When I'm really stressed I do bread from scratch. People know it's been a rough one when I come in with bread and butter!

Bread is the best...nothing like kneading to get rid of some stress.  I also find shortbread is quite helpful at times.   

(edited to show full quote)

[TheaterTek]

Something I don't think has been mentioned yet is; train a good ASM and DELEGATE! Many things should be generated by the ASM (with your supervision of course), especially anything having to do with backstage (i.e. prop lists) since the ASM will be backstage during the show.
STOP SAYING YES, no is a good word, one of my favorites.
I like to read.... anything non theater related to take my mind off of stuff.

[OldeWolf]

Something I don't think has been mentioned yet is; train a good ASM and DELEGATE! Many things should be generated by the ASM (with your supervision of course), especially anything having to do with backstage (i.e. prop lists) since the ASM will be backstage during the show.
STOP SAYING YES, no is a good word, one of my favorites.
I like to read.... anything non theater related to take my mind off of stuff.

I absolutely second the "train a GOOD ASM". Trust, but verify that they are getting things done.

As to the reading...I'm still green enough that I am still reading a lot of theater related stuff. Can't get enough.

[oso_te_great]

I find there isn't anything that a good cigarette can't cure

[ljh007]

An Artistic Director I've worked with a lot has a favorite saying:
"We're not the Red Cross. No one will die."

Remember that we're lucky to do what we do. In the long run, people might get their knickers in a twist, but I guarantee you it's not the end of the world. Remember that not everything is of equal importance.

And remember to breathe properly - deeply, from your abdomen, and to exhale fully. Proper breathing works wonders on physical and mental health! (Of course, drink lots of water and don't eat too much junk.)

[dramabrit58]

I had to agree with everyones suggestions on destressing.  I too have a habit of over extending.  But, I do try and take about 30 minutes in my day to just do nothing for anyone except myself.  Even if it is a cup of tea/coffee and a magazine.  I am also a student, work at a theatre, SM'ing two shows and doing props for another show albeit the show i am doing props for doesn't go into rehearsal until March but I am getting ahead with the props so I don't come unstuck later on.  I also have a husband and family so that is added stress in itself.  I have promised myself that in May when the school year ends I am taking two weeks to do nothing.  Well that's my goal at this time.  Who knows, that might change! Take care of yourself, eat healthily, drink plenty of water and get at least 7 hours sleep (I know that's tough).  I also take power naps.  No more than 30 minutes.  Even if I have to go and park my car somewhere safe and take a pillow and blanket with me. Lock the doors of course.  OK that is my two cents worth.  Good luck.

[BalletPSM]

An Artistic Director I've worked with a lot has a favorite saying:
"We're not the Red Cross. No one will die."

Check out this thread and scroll down about 10 posts for a short story that will tell you the opposite:

http://smnetwork.org/forum/index.php/topic,1412.0.html

Sadly, people do die in the business, and it's really, really not fun when it happens.  =(

[ljh007]

I'm very sad to hear that story.
For me, the mantra about 'no one dying' doesn't relate to non-accidental deaths.
I just meant that no one will die because the actor doesn't hit his mark 3" SL. No one will die because the sofa is mauve and not eggplant.
Things like that.
You just have to keep it in perspective - and remembering that an elderly woman passed away doing no doubt something she loved, and enjoying her life until the very last backstage minute, that is also a gift. And should remind us to enjoy every minute.