I'm with Matthew. I can't remember the last time I did a paper tech. with a director as part of the discussion, or even had more than one designer at a time with availability to paper tech.
I've had lighting designers give me cue lists, give me marked scripts, and even sit next to me at a run through, telling me where the cues go as the cast performs.I worked with one designer that gave me the cues at a run through, and then sent his assistant to give me follow spot cues a day later. I work with one director who likes to be part of the building, look, and placement of every cue during Tech., and we use PAs or others to walk the stage, instead of making the cast come in to stand on stage throughout the day. I consider it a luxury to have even a couple of hours to sit down with the LD, outside of rehearsal, to talk through the cues.
Look, there will be processes where you have to have as many cues as possible written into your book prior to Tech., as you have very few hours to Tech. a complete musical, and there will be processes where you do it all AT the Tech. If one has no LD preparation as to where the light cues go (although you should be able to pretty much predict many, if not most, of the placements) then one has to be that much more on top of the game with everything else--shifts, rail, sound, etc. Yes, there are shows where you will go into Tech., with a fully written book (or the closest thing to it) and there are shows where you'll start the Tech. with close to a blank book. It flips back and forth for me, from theatre to theatre, designer to designer, show to show. I'm fine with any version of the above!
I paper tech on my own, add cues as we go along . . . I NEVER get designers and director in the same room before tech.