Author Topic: PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry  (Read 3992 times)

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Amandanellb

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PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« on: Oct 26, 2011, 11:23 am »
So, I know as SM's we are supposed to be able to deal with the hard stuff in a cool and collected manner, and it is important to be fair but still stern. We are more or less referees in the way we deal with problems and keep everything moving. We are not supposed to be irrational or blow up. But...

Does anger ever get the better of you?

I am doing two shows at present. I am closing one where I am an actress and rehearsing one as SM. My ASM is filling in for me on the days I am performing (and is doing a fantastic job). All is well. The problem is that I have worked with many of the cast before, and that we are all pretty good friends. We are also very sarcastic in nature. When in a show, I keep my sarcastic and joking comments to myself because it is not professional to belittle your actors. They however do not, which I feel is disrespectful to me. I know there are threads about working with friends, but it isn't just that.

At the beginning of every show I hand out a list of 10 rules... most of which are common sense (wear appropriate shoes... don't talk in the space... Turn off your cell phones...). One of the rules is "Do not touch any prop that is not yours." At this theatre, we do not have a rehearsal space and if there is not a constructed set we often use the stage on the current shows off nights. One of my props in the current show is a vintage card table. It's my prop I can touch it. In the show I am rehearsing, we needed a table for down stage, since nothing crazy was happening, I decided this card table would be fine, stating that it was a prop, that I alone would touch it and guarding it with my life. We had been doing this for 2 weeks.

Last night, an actor decided he would hide the table from me while we were on a break. Which annoyed me, but more than that I felt like the rules were being broken (to date this is my 4th rule that has been blatantly ignored by someone multiple times). After we ran the scene and I recovered the table, I announced in a calm stern voice that because we cant respect the props of others, from this point forward and until we moved into the space, we would not be working with a table. To which, said actor mumbled loudly "Fine, We don't need a (profanity) table" and every ounce of cool I had was gone. The next time we ran the scene I took out paper and a pen to substitute for that actors prop application which he uses at the table and less calmly announced that since we didn't need a table, we were going to start using table specific props. He continued to ignore me. I stood Picked up the paper and put it back into play. The Director made him use the Prop the next time we ran it.   

By the time this interaction was finished, I think the tension in the room was beyond cutting with a knife. After I had calmed down I felt bad for getting angry when I should have been calm and stern. Just because I wasn't yelling, that doesn't mean my attitude was any less inappropriate. I have had this problem with this actor before and we have already had the "I'm your SM, not your friend" conversation in past shows.

He and I discussed it privately after rehearsal. We both explained why we were so irritable, discussed how we could have handled it differently and apologized. Another actor apologized to me for being in the room when the table had been taken. I also apologized to the director for losing my cool.

I feel really bad. I have always said I am good at what I do. I believe you never stop learning, but I think I am a good SM. This situation has made me question that. I don't know what to do now. Should I apologize to the rest of the cast? Have a global "I am your SM, not your friend" talk? Explain the rules, since we are incapable of following them? I don't see them again until Monday, will it even be worth it then? How do I get them to listen to me? Is this what parents of teenagers feel like? I need help...
« Last Edit: Oct 26, 2011, 11:34 am by Amandanellb »

Joshua S.

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Re: PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« Reply #1 on: Oct 26, 2011, 12:42 pm »
Ok..  so this was probably not the most professional way to handle the situation.  What I think is most important though is that you realize that it is not the way you should have handled it, try to think of a better way to handle similar situations in the future, and learn from the situation. 

I'm a big advocate of promoting that stage managers are only human.  Humans make mistakes.  Humans lose their temper (especially when other humans can't follow simple rules).  Don't beat yourself up about loosing your temper, but strive to find ways to keep calm in the future.

Just last night I lost my temper with my cast and crew.  During notes after our dress rehearsal I kept getting cut off by the director and actors everytime I tried giving notes.  Eventually I literally started jumping up and down and yelling "I'm not done yet."  Yes...   I feel very stupid about it now.  I felt disrespected that the director never "passed the ball" over to me for notes, and that everytime I started speaking I got cut off by either the director or an actor.  Finally when the director dismissed everyone for the night, and they all broke into conversation, that's when I lost it.

Just wanted to illustrate that you're not alone when it comes to handling things in a less than perfect way.  Being human doesn't make you a bad stage manager.

missliz

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Re: PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« Reply #2 on: Oct 26, 2011, 03:47 pm »
Using a prop from one show for another after saying people shouldn't touch them (it's not your prop for the show you're SMing- keep them separate!) was probably not a great choice. And being passive-aggressive about other props afterwards? It doesn't exactly make you look MORE professional. But it happens to the best of us! Stage managers have feelings too.

I try to stay calm, collected, stern but friendly. As you probably know, being nicer can get you much further than barking orders, so I hold onto that as much as I can. Project firm but friendly and then complain on the phone to your friend.  :) Taking a step out of the room for a minute or so can help, and after rehearsal or on a break (give everyone time to cool down!) pull him/her aside and talk about it. One-on-one discussions are definitely better than a confrontation in a room full of people.

I personally would like to bring a tortoise onto the stage, turn it into a racehorse, then into a hat, a song, a dragon and a fountain of water. One can dare anything in the theatre and it is the place where one dares the least. -Ionesco

Mac Calder

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Re: PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« Reply #3 on: Oct 28, 2011, 12:20 pm »
I do loose my temper. Usually when people do stupid things, or unsafe things.

Most things I am really laid back about - but safety and common sense are big issues for me.

I have blown up a few times - I once dressed a a pair of performers down to the point they were in tears - One idiot was jumping up and hanging on the fly lines for fun, the other stood there cheering him on - I still maintain they deserve every word. I did get a number of looks from the cast that let me know they thought I had gone too far. When that sort of thing happens, you either have to tackle it by the end of rehearsal, or just move on and pretend it never happened. In this particular case, I sat the entire cast down, appologised for loosing my temper then explained WHY I lost my temper. (I also arranged a demonstration of the dangers involved in scenic flying in this instance). Other times when people keep doing stupid things repeatedly I get annoyed and quite terse, but at some point you need to recognise that there are immature people out there, and you just have to grin and bare it.

Jessie_K

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Re: PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« Reply #4 on: Oct 28, 2011, 02:11 pm »
and you just have to grin and bare it.

Well, that's one way to deal with people...

LOL, I think you mean bear it.  :)

Mac Calder

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Re: PROFESSIONALISM: Getting Angry
« Reply #5 on: Oct 28, 2011, 07:45 pm »
Honestly, depends on the day  :o

 

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