MORALE: What to do After the Show Closes

[TechGal]

I have seen a couple of threads that talk about tech week stress, but I was wondering how others deal with what I call adrenaline withdrawal; that is, the emotional let down that comes after a show closes. True, there are some productions that you can't wait to kiss goodbye, but more often, I find closing a show to be bittersweet.  You've just spent that last however may weeks expelling tons of energy (emotional, physical, mental, etc... ) into something that no longer exists. You've made new friends, and (hopefully) had a good time, but you longer get to go and work with those people every night.  

For me, the first couple days after everything has been "put to bed" are the hardest. Even if I don't miss the show, I often find it hard to get reoriented to "normal" life.  The things that got put off during the run (family issues, homework, misc. personal stuff) suddenly come rushing back at me when I'm the most tired and the least able to handle them.

Do other people have any experience with this, or am I the only one? Any suggestions for making the transition from rehearsals/performances five+ nights a week to no show at all smoother?

[Lady]

A buddy of mine calls that a "show hangover".  Where you spend your time catching up on sleep and going "ok, now what?"

[jensparkingonly]

This is my post show ritual that helps give me a sense of emotional closure on each show.  I like to save all the media, reviews, cards, photos, etc... for after the show closes.  I have a margarita and read through all the cards, go through the program, and read the reviews. I dwell on the best memories of the production and say goodbye to the show.

[KC_SM_0807]

I have a really hard time letting things go, especially productions.  When you've worked so incredibly hard on something and then it's over, it definitely messes with your pattern.  I try to avoid this by jumping straight into another show, but when I have the downtime between shows I feel completely worthless!  At the end of each show, I get the cast to sign a program or a poster.  After each show is over, I take the time to frame each poster and program, get pictures together.. that sort of thing.  I also play photographer during the rehearsal process, and take random pictures of rehearsals, breaks, and all of the good times.   I then post them on my website and send the cast and crew the link so that they can copy/look at them.  This usually helps me in closing a show...but I definitely know how you feel!

[NickySM]

I'd definetely agree on the withdrawal thing.  It's always really sad to let go of productions, the people, and the good times.  I've found that just genuinely enjoying yourself with a show while you're working on and with it makes it that much easier and at the same time that much harder to let go.  I'd say it's for sure, bittersweet.  I like to take the memories, watch videos from the rehearsals, or tech week.  I will say I most definetely go into a depression for a few weeks after the show ends.

[smejs]

If you plan on framing your posters - it can cost a pretty penny to get the custom-sized frames that most posters are....if I do frame them, I get one bigger than the actual poster, then use the extra space to place my favorite pictures from the show...and occasionally the program or ticket stub.  Just a thought.

As for sharing pictures, I've created snapfish accounts for the show before, with a hotmail address I also created that's generic with the name of the show and/or city or something, then give the Snapfish password to everyone involved, so all can upload their shots.  (For example, make the password something obvious like "photos", and the email address something like NoisesOffDenver@hotmail.com or something) Of course, there is the whole copyright issue if you show things from the actual show, etc....so I usually give that caveat...  I tend to take the fun shots no one else thinks of...one person I worked with on the last show bought several dozen pictures of mine off Snapfish, and I didn't have to be bothered with "can I get a copy of that?"  But also, if you just right-click the picture in Snapfish, you can download it to your own computer for free.

Erin

[Mac Calder]

I remember a topic about this a while ago - there were quite a few posts. It is in the green room IIRC.

I believe my responce was along the lines of "Catch up with the cast occasionally, making sure we keep in touch."

Momento wise, I have a shelf in my office that has a momento from almost every show I have done. There are back stage passes, a rubber duck, an African ring container, a bottle of very expensive whiskey, a bunch of programs, a range of sound fx cd's, lighting designs saved on disk and a bunch of CD's holding photos, unauthorised recordings of shows, to name a few.

Whenever I feel a bit down about a show, I just look at the shelf for a while, maybe grab a recording or SFX cd and just reminisc.

[hbelden]

I make sure to get 24 hours alone.  After a show closes, I go camping.  I turn off my cell phone, take along a book, and just live in the quiet outdoors for a night.  Since I usually go Mondays, I generally have the entire campsite to myself.  I don't have anyone waiting on reports from me, I don't need to sign anything, I don't need to write any checks, and my spouse knows that one night away from her and the cats means that I don't spend a week or two cranky and uninvolved.

When you give so much of yourself to a project as huge as a show, you need to get away and recharge your batteries.

[MatthewShiner]

On the flip side of this, I have not "closed" a show with time off in a long time - that is one of the perks / downsides of being a resident moving from show to show.

I find that this a zen about shows opening and closing, much like life and death.  (someone should hum the circle of life as they read this . . . )  I have found that there is a emptiness, as one can imagine, but I find the opposite true for my way of dealing with it - I try to keep busy.  (I find that downshifting completely can actually lead to a little depression.)  I catch up with friends, try to travel a bit, catch up on other shows I want to see, spend time with my partner - but keeping busy actually helps me fill the void.

My 2 cents.

[centaura]

When I would get done with a tour, I would always try to save at least two days before I started my summer/interim job.  Day one I would just sleep and do nothing, really.  Day two I would spend going through the months of mail that I had accumulated.  I found that that would get me re-oriented to life at home after the end of tour.  I was able to get into that 'zen' grove that Matthew spole of - I  kept the thought of the next show/project that I was going to be working on in my mind, with the positve feelings that it would be nice to have a little bit of a change.  But I also have the shelves of 'stuff' and my giant map.  I have a map on my wall where I have pins of every city that I've been to on tour.  I'll look at the pins and try to remember which show I was there with and with what tour.  Sometimes just looking at a town name will bring back stories in my head.

-Centaura

[Kimberly]

Oh man, would I sooooooo LOVE to land an ASM job on tour.......somehow, some way! *To dream is to BE* (or so they say!)  

[isha]

I'm glad this has been revisited....

my last show closed almost a month ago...this break that I'm in right now has been the first break in almost 2 years of straight shows... my first show ever was romeo and juliet 2 years ago, and I had a show from that point on. it's like I discovered theatre and couldn't stop...

But I'm still having closure issues with this one..partly it's because I don't have another show in the near future, but partly, I think it's some other stuff.
I've moved on to other things, but I just can't get a sense of closure...

it seems as if I'm never be done with the show. Every time I go to finish up (finish cleaning up any residue of auditorium mess, or getting thank you cards out) something else comes up..and it's been really hard to get my director to help/support finishing..I don't think he realizes I'm still having issue being done with the show...
It's kind of hard, I have a great relationship with my past director, but he is also my choir teacher, and I see all of my cast every day in choir. All the choir members are used to me being in authority, and I'm the only one they all listen to, so even when I'm not in charge of something, if my organizational nature takes over and starts organizing something that no one else is doing, they all automatically follow me....I don't mind it, sometimes I just get tired of feeling like I'm the only one who's responsible, who cares enough to get something accomplished.

I don't know..this show was just hard to end, we never had a cast party..(and I never got a chance to have everybody sign a poster for me...) and it just feels weird.) we never had any sense of cast closure either...

I think, now that I think about it, I might take my poster and go around to all the cast members and have them sign it..that might help...

but does anybody have any suggestions? any way to avoid this in the future?
-isha

[Mac Calder]

I think what you need to do is just say STOP! It's done! Then call for a cast reunion where you all go out for a few drinks and basically return to being 'one of the guys' - that means when you do it, don't send a nice, well worded email asking if next saturday would be a good time to go and grab a few drinks - instead, just approach each of them in groups and casually ask if they want to go out for a few drinks. Don't even bring up the show if you can manage it.

After you have that little bit of show closure, I suggest you just try and lay low for a month or so in your choir - just do what everyone else does instead of being proactive. After the month is done, you can slowly move back to doing all those extra things you used to do. Stage Managers are, as a general rule, pro-active. It is a personality trait, and you really cannot change your personality, so you may just have to put up with the fact people will look up to you, even when you are not in a position of responsibility.  You will be seen as a leader, because that is what we are. I guess, get used to it.

[ljh007]

With my degree in psychology, I've started calling your syndrome Post Dramatic Stress Disorder. Nearly every SM I've ever known has experienced it. Some are more likely to experience the syndrome and some show symptoms longer than others. Invariably cured by starting another show.

[smejs]

With my degree in psychology, I've started calling your syndrome Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.

I love it.  My parents own their own counseling business, and I've already shared it with them.  They think it's great too.

Erin