If you are going to have another person on headset during the show, why don't you simply switch hats with those two individuals? Perhaps the relief of not being the ASM will spur her on to being a better crew person, taking directions as opposed to giving them...?
This is an excellent idea. At the very least, it's worth a shot. With two pairs of eyes (and ears) on cans, one would hope your safety and efficiency factors increase. Maybe she's not a natural leader and needs that "velvet hand in the iron glove" sort of motivation; with the shared responsibility, it's possible she'll come 'round.
