Wow, I've never worked with anything that extreme.
However, in college, we had a musical director who many people found difficult and demanding. He happened to like me, but I think part of that was that I did my best to keep him absolutely informed and find out his needs. When I SM a musical, I also create a document that lists everything possible about songs for quick reference so that at any given point you can give the Song Number (used by the orchestra usually), the script page (director), score page (music director), libretto (performer), as well as which singers are in it. And because I read music, I can often give the measure number too if I know it. Doesn't take an incredibly long time to compile the sheet, but boy does it save time and confusion during rehearsal.
A little off topic, but one way to reassure/calm some of the slightly diva musical directors.
Erin