i've hung on to what i want out of my career, but sometimes how educated and grounded professionals treat me really stings.
I'm not really sure what this means. I didn't see your original post, but this appears to be your edited version. I've noticed your sentences (still) do not use capital letters. If you are implying that "educated and grounded professionals" don't treat you well, perhaps it's because they don't feel like you're responding to them professionally.
That said, you mentioned that you're here to learn, so I hope you take in everything you see, read our spirited discussions, and know that ultimately we are all trying to make us all the best stage managers we can be. Being self-taught can be extremely rough - I didn't have that much direct guidance in college, but I interned and assisted many stage managers, read what books I could find, and also found this website to be one of the best SM resources out there. Perhaps you can find a stage manager to shadow, whether on a tour or at a local theatre, to get some one-on-one observation experience.
Good luck,
Erin