Sending strength and light on your challenging journey. Give yourself time to rest, to heal and to do things that are fun. And cut yourself some slack. The year my mom died of cancer, everything was surreal and some days, even getting out of bed was hard. I occasionally found rooms of people who knew nothing of my struggles just to have a break from the emotional weight that constantly pressed on my heart and my life.
In Chinese, the word for "crisis" translates as "dangerous opportunity" - this is indeed an opportunity. This reminds me of the 70s, when women were trying to translate what we did in the home into real world, saleable skills. No, the world at large hasn't a clue what stage managers do (hey, a lot of actors and directors don't know either, so why shd civilians?) - BUT start by listing the things you DO know how to do. Computer programs, organizing, schedules, calendars, finding props, building scenery, typing, making cold calls, whatever - list the things you KNOW, then go to their core and discover what they mean in "general category" terms. One SM I know makes her living organizing other people (for a lot of $).
Then brainstorm a list with three categories - censoring nothing. The columns are 1) what do you never ever want to do no matter what; 2) where are you willing to compromise; and 3) what is your ultimate fantasy - what do you want to do most. List everything - and I mean everything - and it shd not be restricted to theater or office work or any other categorization. For example, I hate to type but will compromise if it's theater-related. But I will NOT bookkeep ever again for anyone. Period. No matter how much money is involved.
Another example: I love playing games (Scrabble, Monopoly, Risk etc) and wrote that on my list. One day I was invited to participate in game show run-throughs, where they test the shows or the hosts or the basic structure of the games etc before they go on the air. Yes, I was a professional contestant and got paid to play the same game over and over again as if I was doing it for the first time. Yes, I had a blast and yes, I got paid for it. But the point is not that this job exists, but that I was willing to look at all the things I enjoyed doing and was willing to see what came up regardless of what I thought reality might be. (make sense?)
Good luck, and hey, I help friends think outside the box so if you want to privately email me your results, I will see what I can suggest back. Either way, WAIT until you have given yourself time to breathe before setting out on a new journey, and be open to what comes your way in the meantime. Sleep, heal, spend time with friends, and allow your family to support each other. Everyone needs a moment off.
