Team Dynamics

[Laura]

Note: I'm not sure where this should go on the boards. Moderators, please help me out.

I'm a young SM (but not really new), and I'm basically making a go at free lancing. So, I just started at a new theatre, with a new team of SMs. Decent size musical, team of 4 SMs. 2 residents, and then the 2 newbies. We're in previews now (we survived tech, whew!). I'm one of the newbies--still learning the place, and the town as a matter of fact--but so is the other newbie. We're deck SMs, and one of the resident SMs basically oversees us. She's the final word, and she did all the shift plot work.

Anyway, in my last job, it really hit home with me that I can only be as good as the team that supports me. It's very important to me that a team work well together and all get along. I was trained that way. Well, it's just not happening here.

It's little things, almost petty--like leaving me out of conversations, and double checking my work--but my instincts are just crackling with disdain. I trust my instincts, and they're telling me that the other two SMs on deck don't want to play nice in the sand box! I just don't feel respected or supported, let alone part of the team. And I can't figure out if I did or said something offensive, or if it is a them thing. They seem to get along swimmingly--which I know is only making me feel worse. It's all rather distressing.

Part of this post is venting, but I would really appreciate advice about the situation. How do you all handle lousy team work? or how do work towards improving it?

[DeeCap]

I've been there. I was a PA on a 6 person stage management team, and two of them did not like me at all. One of them called me stupid in front of the cast and crew. I felt awful.

20/20 hindsight I wished I talked to the two people that had a problem with me. I would have asked if there was something I was doing wrong or if there were ways I can make the team better. If there was nothing I could do and they continued to be petty, I would be like cream and "rise to the top". Do my job to the best of my ability and let those idiots drown in their crap.

Hope this was helpful.

[Tempest]

Are you good at your job?  This is not mean as an insulting question, but as a moment for you to mentally go, "Hell, yeah, I'm good at my job!"

Then like DeeCap said, just rise to the top.  I know how difficult it can be when you're getting no respect and no trust, but I think we've all had to muscle through those situations, at least a couple of times.  I don't think anything I can say will make it easier except perhaps good luck, I understand how you feel, and "never let an @$$**** rent space in your head."

Do your job to the absolute best of your ability.  I mean, go out of your way.  Make sure there's nothing for them to "double check."  If you see a conversation you think might be job related, ask one of the participants after its over if anything important was said that you need to know.  Be proactive, but I'd wait to confront someone with, "What did I do to piss you off?" until you've got something more concrete to reference to them than instinct, like Dee's being called stupid.

If things are as unbalanced as you suspect they are, someone will eventually notice, and you want to be the one giving off an impression of complete professionalism.

[SMExtraordinaire]

I agree. I would approach them and tell them what you are seeing and feeling and come open minded to hear their responses. Try to keep the conversation positive, but if they turn it to a negative you know where you stand. They may not mean to be doing those things or this could be something they do with all the newbies or they could just be jerks. Right now, you just don't know.

I can attest to the fact that when I am working with someone new that I am more apt to check up on them and double check what they are doing and how they are doing it. As the resident SM it is my butt on the line and I have worked with some real duds before. It could just be earning their trust by showing you are trust worthy.

With the communication issue - it could still be what I listed about with them not realizing, but that truly needs to be nipped in the bud quick. I can't stand bad communication and regardless of their feelings about someone you should be told any pertinent info that affects you so I would just take them aside and find out what is going on.

[Laura]

Thanks for all the support and great advice! It was very helpful.

In current news: After posting and reading all your responses, I finally jumped the hurdle and just focused on my job. I know I'm a good stage manager and this is what I love to do. I guess I just always want to be best friends with my fellow stage managers. The reality is that's just not going to happen.

I don't know if it was my change of attitude, or something unrelated to me, or maybe the stars just realigned, but a lot of the tension has dissipated. Everyone's playing nice in the sandbox again!

Thanks again for the positive feedback and good vibes!

Cheers.