this is a very interesting topic, but so far a very abstract one. i was hoping to hear more gory examples of the "team player" vs. "undermining" conflict.
when i first read this post, a very specific conflict occurred to me. this is when someone comes to the SM with a problem, telling the SM to be a "team player" to solve the issue, but by doing so is in effect "undermining" them.
some examples -
SMing a show with teenage youth who are unfamiliar with theatre, who are being paid, but who refuse to treat the show as a job and show up on time, call the SM, or behave themselves during rehearsal. the SM cannot run rehearsals properly because of this lack of discipline, but when SM attempts to solve the problem (calls the kids on their tardiness, instructs them to call the SM, and generally asks the kids to be quiet during rehearsals), the management informs the SM that it is their job to "babysit" the kids, and that SM should stop being "so hard on them," and "be a team player."
SM of a new play, which is not going so well. The director clearly hates the play and is uninspired, and the playwright isn't helping. SM is repeatedly told that director is not interested in SM input and that SM is just timekeeper. SM keeps her mouth shut and keeps time. All are worried going into tech, because more tech has been thrown at the play to solve its artistic issues. PM asserts that the director's worries all stem from a poor stage management team, because SM not "team player," and therefore likely unable to run tech properly.
in both of these instances the SM is undermined by the team, but put in a position that is difficult to resolve, because it is criticism given in a "you're not being a team player" attitude. being singled out in this way, with your only defense being "i'm being singled out!" doesn't really get you anywhere. so the team isn't strengthened at all, because one member is even more unable to become "part of the team" with the understanding that the team is not on their side. This is that unpleasant, problematic area that arises with the "team player" mentality - if you end up undermining someone who you want to be a part of your team, that person's never going to actually want to be part of your "team."