Chickening out?

[Theatrenewt]

Hey gang,

I would love some words of wisdom form anyone who's got it. I'm struggling with the company I'm currently working with. I've been going back in forth in my head over the variables...They're a young company (I'm a young stage manager!) and this is my second season with them (summer only). The thing is that they're still figuring out how things need to be run, how many employees they need, and so on. Things get bigger and different from year to year.
The three founders of the company were all actors and they are now discovering what it takes to run an entire company. The thing is, they each have so much on their plate being Actor, Director, Artistic Director, Executive director, producer, company manager, leading fun company events, attending board meetings (we're non-profit), hustling donations and so on that it's very difficult to streamline any kind of focus on one thing.
I feel that I'm a good (but growing) SM, and I've been asked back to every company I work for. But when I come to this place, I'm suddenly scattered, inefficient and always falling behind. I'm not the only one.
I'm considering not returning if I'm asked back next season, and we're only into the first show.

Is this chickening out? I don't know if I just need to buck up and I'm giving up an excellent opportunity for growth and experience or making a wise decision based on my personal sanity and - quite frankly - the thought that they may need a more experienced SM.

Without knowing all the particulars, does anyone have any gut-feeling advice?

[loebtmc]

Sounds like they need a TD/Prodn Manager who is a tech person - but don't discount that you might be the right candidate for that. If you are overwhelmed, take a step back (esp from your own emotions) and pragmatically prioritize what needs to be done. Can you do it all? Do you need (capable trained) help? If they know and trust you, you are just the person to grow this into a company that works.

Do you have specific issues? There are a lot of us here who've been around a while who can certainly weigh in on our experiences, but it sounds like it's just a matter of growing too big too fast. List what you can do, what you delegate. How can you create a department that gives you what you need without you having to do it all and still accomplishing all your goals.

For example: My most recent show was all about putting out fires behind the scenes. So my ASM, who was incredibly capable and knowledgable abt our deck issues, took over those responsiblities sooner and more completely than a traditional show might - keeping me in the loop and making sure I was part of discussions where it was politic or necessary but basically taking it off my plate so I cd deal with other stuff. Yes, I could have done the rail and prop plots, but her doing it allowed me to solve other things. And it didn't mean my PSM skills were in question - it meant we worked as a team to handle the show's issues in the most efficient way to accomplish our goal of actually having a curtain go up every night, in costume and with props and set shifts, and without injury or emotional baggage.

[Theatrenewt]

Fortunately I do have an incredible ASM for this show...not sure what I would do without her! Thanks for your advice..it'll help me feel out the rest of the season.