Ladies and gentlemen, children of ages 13 and up, welcome for the last time to Gadget Stadium. We have here competing tonight two triumphant teams who have fought long and hard to reach this crowning moment. Other matches have been exciting - some even exhilarating. We've seen some true tests of skill and versatility on the way to the arena tonight. However, this... is... the FINALS!
This week our two remaining teams will battle to find out who takes it all home. These devices are coming onstage from their lives behind the scenes and hitting their marks perfectly at center court. This is not only a match that will end December Madness, but it may settle a longstanding debate in the stage management community. Without further ado, allow me to introduce....
*lights dim* *soft drum roll*
Hailing from the forests of the Pacific Northwest is a team that was written off at the start of this match, but one which has spent most of its existence being written on. Raised by its parents from saplings, it developed from a blank page through beating itself to a pulp. Now fully grown, weighing in at 20 lb and 97 brightness, this troupe brings reams of experience to the playing field. While it may have been accused of folding under pressure and recycling its strategies, it's still a winner and we're proud to have it with us in the stadium tonight. Cheered on by the hot and bothersome Confetti Girls (fresh from the three hole punch...) taking the floor for the very last time, let's have a hand for....
PAPER!!!!!
*cheery organ music!* *lights up* *Team Paper, with cheerleaders, enters stage right!* *3 min music vamp for cheering!*
*lights back down.* *drum roll resumes*
Opposing, we've got a team that couldn't have had a more different upbringing. Created in Silicon Valley by expert handlers who had practiced on prior season MVP the desktop, this group strives to prove that better stage management through science is not only possible, but the best way to charge forward. This team knows the keys to success - all 80 of them. Although some fans have scorned the team for bringing in Japanese ringers, one cannot deny that this relative newcomer has honed its skills and broadened its technique so that it can cash in all of its chips here for you tonight. Does it have the touch(pad) to make it through this battle? Has it honed its operating system enough to rise to the challenge? Will its fans bother to look up long enough to pay attention to the game? We certainly hope so, for it has fought a long battle to get here tonight.
Cheered on by the lovely and talented Flash Drives, it's....
LAPTOP!!!!
*more organ music!* *lights up!* *Team Laptop enters with cheerleaders!* *Music vamp as both teams shake ... hands?... and take their starting positions.*
Paper. Laptop. You each have a week to prove your worth. Keep the play fair and clean. Rally your fans and bring everything you've got. The winner here takes the trophy, the title, and the trip to Disneyland.
Stage managers, you've also got one week to settle this dilemma (although probably not for the last time. Sigh.). This is the finals so we'll be running twice as long to make sure everyone gets a chance to vote. Voting will run through Friday at midnight CST.
*blows whistle* GAME ON!